I took my 5 year old son for a walk in his wheelchair late one evening a few days ago. We went round the block, loudly singing silly songs and joking, teasing each other. It was a pleasant evening, a few passers by stopped by and smiled. Occasionally, someone with a dog would stop and let him pat the dog. A child in a wheelchair attracts a lot of attention.
Suddenly my son grew serious and his eyes were glazed as he concentrated on his thoughts. I got worried and asked him if he was ok. The golden head turned upwards to look at me and he said
"Mom, do you remember when i was in the hospital with those tubes sticking into my mouth and my nose, going into my throat and my stomach and my lips were taped up?"
My heart missed a beat. I was afraid he was scarred by the thoughts of days in the ICU. "Yes," I said, softly, "but its over now," i tried to reassure him.
"You remember when you were crying and i was struggling to tell you something, but my lips were taped up, so i couldn't ?"
"Yes darling, I remember." I remembered the struggle to understand what he was trying to convey. I had even asked him to point at alphabets to spell teh words, but with the clavical broken, and hands strapped to the bed, it had been a futile attempt, one that had ended in the nurse sedating him with morphine to calm him down. We had assumed he was trying to tell me how bad his shoulder and leg were hurting, or that he was scared. It had happened again in my presence the next day, and the following day as well, till I started wondering if maybe he was angry at me for causing the accident...
"Well, I was trying to tell you I love you more than anything else in the world."
The neighbourhood suddenly seemed to dim and fade away, but i knew i was blessed...... |
