The point, though, being, as Rambi pointed out, that formal doesn't have to mean uncomfortable.
Well, yes, it sort of was--For our heroine, whom I know to be a thoughtful and considerate person and probably owns perfectly suitable clothes and was tweaking us somewhat. And who hates those false dichotomies.
But I think even more than this, my point would be that we are so eager to find offenses in others we constantly bring pain on ourselves and everyone else when a smile either to ourselves for our first impatient reaction, or even better, to the "offending" party would make so much of this crap unnecessary. I have found that I can afford to hand out a lot of passes painlessly. And I hope others do the same for me for my gaffes.
I feel sorry for people who would get so caught up in having a society wedding that they couldn't take a little deviance in their guests. While I strongly agree with you about ritual, the real meaning of the wedding ritual lies in the public declaration before caring, supportive friends and family-- and not in their attire.
So if slightly wacky Aunt K loves us enough to attend wearing her elasticized pants, it is more than fine with me.
And all the money she's saved not buying clothes, maybe she'll will to me. |
