I never take things seriously, Neo, when the issue is about controlling the behavior of others too tightly. When I read the scenario, AuntyK seemed presented as a reasonably, but rather informally, dressed person, attending a fairly formal event, not a far out kook in really offensive clothes (which is why I asked if the socks had nasty sayings on them). I offered a reasonable alternative of comfortable, yet elegant attire which would have involved slight giving on our opinionated but presumably reasonable heroine, and a slight yielding on the groom's mother perhaps, if slacks to her were offensive. There was no indication in the description of the outfit that said SORE THUMB to me, except for the reaction of the groom's mother.
Requesting ejection of a family member IS the act of a harridan. Give the woman a tranquilizer.
What is this obsession with fault? If Aunty K is given to making a spectacle of herself because she is a self-involved kook, then maybe it's the bride's family's fault for including her.
No wait, maybe it's the groom's family fault for not insisting on her exclusion when told about her. They weren't told? Then it's the bride's fault. Maybe it's the groom's fault for not telling the bride his mother is rather neurotically excitable about dress. I dunno- I fail to see the point of this blamegame. IMO, the right answer is for everyone to give some and if someone is unwilling to give as much as you think appropriate, to just rise above it for the sake of the bride and her day and ignore the sore thumb.
Last fall I attended a lovely wedding of a dear friend's daughter. The bride and the bridesmaids had on flipflops under their formal dresses. The bride had decided that she wanted everyone, including herself, to enjoy the day in comfort. I thought it was thoughtful, practical, and cute because they decorated the flipflops with glitter to match the dresses.
Luckily the groom's mother did not demand that the bride be ejected for her casual attire.
Aunty K would not have bothered this generous and loving family a whit. That to me is the mark of true graciousness and character-- the ability to overlook things that in the grand scheme, mean so little. Have the ushers seat Aunty K quietly in the back and ignore her. |
