Letter from Lynn: The Beaning of Michael Brown
by Lynn Harsh
I recently threw my shoe at Michael D. Brown, the Federal Emergency Management Association (FEMA) Director and Under Secretary for Emergency Preparedness and Response at Homeland Security. (I wonder how he can bear up under the weight of that title.)
In the interest of full disclosure, I was in my bedroom changing clothes and he was on television. It was the Kudlow & Cramer Report, one of my favorite programs. Tropical Storm Isabel had not yet hit the east coast, and Kudlow asked Brown if it bothered him to cut federal checks to people who kept building their houses in risky locations—like nestled up against the ocean in a hurricane corridor.
Brown emphatically and cheerfully said it didn't bother him at all. President Bush, he asserted, had made it clear that the federal government was there to help anyone in need, regardless of their situation. His agency would be Johnny-on-the-spot and ever-so-happy to write those checks.
Now, I don't know Mr. Brown. He seems like a very nice man. And it was infantile behavior to throw my shoe at his televised image.
On the other hand, he doesn't know me either, or most of the millions of other responsible Americans who agonizingly watch money leave our paychecks to go to places like FEMA, where insurance is offered to parasites and millionaires who can't get insurance from regular companies, because they have built their houses in stupid places!
Most of us live in dwellings that are not likely to get blown into the Big Drink or sucked into the Infernal Hole. In other words, our houses are generally insurable through private-sector companies.
I realize FEMA accomplishes other things—things more noble than underwriting stupidity. And I know that many of the people who have suffered great losses over the years due to natural disasters have not put themselves knowingly in harm's way, like numerous victims of Isabel's unwelcome housecall. Moreover, it's true, once in a while private insurance companies make bad decisions about who and what is insurable.
Still, we Americans stray far from our Founders' intent when we expect government to bail us out of life's manmade or natural disasters.
An acquaintance of mine argued with me about this when I challenged him regarding a FEMA subsidy he had received. He reminded me that government exists to protect individual rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which he knows I believe includes the right to own private property. His home had been damaged in our state's last earthquake, and the federal government caulked his cracks, so to speak.
Crafting a government to protect an individual's right to own private property is not the same thing as crafting a government to protect a property owner from loss. Do we really believe government owes us a risk-free life?
Using his illogic, FEMA should put my name on a check if I decide to sell my property during a sour real estate market and get less money than I originally paid for it. FEMA should underwrite the grave financial loss suffered by my friend after her husband mortgaged their house to the hilt and then left town.
I live relatively close to Mt. Rainier. What if this semi-dormant volcano comes alive and throws up all over my house and the creature comforts inside? Am I a fool to carry homeowner's insurance through a private source when the feds might bail me out?
It's usually up to us to decide whether or not we will build our abodes in places vulnerable to natural disasters. If we decide the risk is worth taking, we should assume responsibility for the pleasure and pain of our decision. Otherwise, we might as well put a sign on our door reading, "Insured by U.S. Taxpayers."
When our fellow citizens suffer tragic loss, we should be there—first person, first-hand. It's important to give time and money and to alleviate the suffering of those around us. This is our job, not the government's.
Besides, we should remember the adage: Government that is big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have.
I must admit though, Mr. Michael Brown did me a favor. I thought my infrequent shoe-throwing days were over after the Clinton impeachment hearings. Then this summer, a minor incident occurred involving my television set, a brownie, and Mariner third-baseman Jeff Cirillo. Shocked and saddened by my bad behavior, I decided I must deal with the root of the problem.
But if Hillary runs for president, or we have another FEMA-underwritten hurricane soon, forget it. I'll have to sell my television set or go barefooted.
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