Little South Brooklyn Tony...
ON MATH
Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?'"
I said '6,'" replies TONY. "But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking
difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"
ON ENGLISH
Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
Tony says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says,
"Wow, Tony, that's a mouthful." Little Tony says,
"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob!"
ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
Tony. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father
that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'" |
