Brian, your light affliction is but for a moment. Listen to Paul and the agony he was expressing at himself. He hated himself also but realized that Christ was his salvation.
"18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin." Romans 7
O wretched man that I am!
You are not the only one whose motivations are not pure. How many times do all of us play a pawn to deceive in order to use our Knight to destroy in deed?
James |