Penni's Theory of Marriage and Automobiles
(Those who know me well, Janet, usually choose to ignore me while I espouse my latest theories )
Marriage begins with a small, cheap car, one with only the basics, but it doesn't matter, you're in love, it's your first car together, you're delighted that it moves. You probably give it a name and talk to it encouragingly on cold days. Then the family and income grow, and so does the family vehicle. Practicality sets in. No more cute names. Who needs personified mechanical pets to care about? Now it's safety and size that occupy you. Seatbelts, harnesses, airbags... At the peak of the childrearing years, the MINIVAN makes its proud appearance (occasionally a Suburban might be substituted). Strings of brightly colored minivans wind around every school driveway in America ---the Carpool Caravan! Moms in Minivans! You are now a Yuppie, you blend in, with your highlighted hair, your denim Mother Hubbard dress or jeans, and with tapes of children's songs instead of your old favorites booming out of the windows (which all have child-proof locks). The kids grow-the cars in the driveway proliferate...there are more drivers now, lots more insurance to pay...you decide to make the minivan last until they all go to college---but then, oh yes--then--you are going to get rid of that damn minivan---and you are going to buy something just for you because you have earned it. And you will never drive a minivan again..
A CASE STUDY--THE WESTBROOK FAMILY
In 1978, the young couple purchased a Honda Civic while in law school-very tiny and green with no air-conditioning. When their first child arrived in 1980, they added a Datsun 210 station wagon, with air-conditioning and room for child number 2 who arrived early in 83. In 1987, accepted into an elite carpool, they bought the first minivan made by Nissan, an unmitigated disaster which was in the shop 37 times in two years. Mrs. Westbrook claims to have spent more time with the Nissan service manager than with her husband and gave him nicer Christmas presents. He knew their childrens' birthdays. When they bought a new Nissan Quest minivan, she gave him a bottle of champagne and they toasted the death of The Lemon. Meanwhile, as Mrs. W. drove around in hausfrauish, styleless boredom, her husband went from the leftover Honda to a Mustang convertible, to an Alfa Romeo. We can't repeat what Mrs W. said about her husband and his cars when we interviewed her in a carpool line but she did have this to say about her own vehicular goals:
"I have four more years of Minivanning. And then, doggone it-I am stepping out...into what, I'm not sure, but it will be tiny and sexy and fast. And no one- no one-will ride in it but me,me,me." |
