I don't really care one way or the other if gay couples get married. I handle a lot of divorces, which basically means I see a lot of dysfunctional marriages, marriages where it boggles the mind that these people ever loved each other, much less got married.
If a gay couple want to make the same leap of faith, it's no skin off my nose one way or the other. I doubt very much that many will. Given the male preference for promiscuity, I sincerely doubt that many gay male couples will marry, period.
I suspect that for many, they hope that somehow being able to get married via a state marriage will change religious proscriptions against gay marriage, and homosexuality in general, but it won't. It can't. The Pope won't care whether the US recognizes gay marriage, and conservative Protestant churches won't, either, and liberal Protestants already do. The churches that now think homosexuality is immoral won't budge an inch.
Another thing - and this may be even more important - is that clueless people think that somehow getting married will make their lives different and better. Whenever I am at the counter at the local circuit court, I see couples getting marriage licenses, and often see couples waiting to be married in a civil ceremony. The ones who are going to have the simple civil ceremony in the courthouse tend to be older, and not have a lot of friends or family that want to celebrate the marriage with them. These are the ones that I give the worst odds to. Yet they look hopeful.
But the truth is that marriage doesn't make a relationship better. It's very hard to be married, to live intimately with another person as they age and develop traits, to have to constantly compromise and put up with their idiosyncracies and the inlaws and sharing expenses and housework and the whole nine yards.
Particularly for working women, I think being single is actually easier. At least, the women I get divorced seem to live better lives - the men tend to remarry immediately, at least once. The triumph of hope over experience.
But, fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and all that.
I have one female client who's been married five times! And her husband is a total idiot. I have no idea how long they dated but it should have been immediately obvious to her, as it is to me.
Oy. When I think about marriage, I always think about divorce. I've got a couple dozen going right now. Much sadness. |
