Okay, okay, you've shamed me into taking you seriously. So here's my answer:
We really don't need all these totalitarian laws. But there's a powerful, unseen lobby taking control of the reins of government and quietly infiltrating every aspect of our public and private lives. They are the secret, nefarious force behind 9/11 and all that has happened before and since. They were responsible for the assassination of JFK. New coke was their idea. They are the ones who insisted on the Patriot Act being put into place over John Ashcroft's secret anguished howls of protest. They are...
Conspiracy theorists!
And they secretly control everything...they even have Big Oil by the balls! That's right...the ONLY reason America is still dependent on fossil fuel is because the conspiracy theory industry will not tolerate a safe, clean, economically sensible solution to the problem. They have too much to lose: book sales, speaking fees, syndicated columns, video sales...their whole raison d'etre would come crashing ignominiously to the ground.
As long as there is such an insatiable market for lunatic ideas and kooky fringe paranoia, our glacially creeping headlong rush toward absolute dictatorship will continue and continue and continue, beyond our lifetimes, for hundreds and thousands of years, or for however long it takes to sell enough books and guest enough talk shows to convince every last living person on earth to take off their blinders and deal with the unsavory job of whatever the heck it is you and others like you think we need to drop everything we're doing in our real lives at the moment and deal with next. |
