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Politics : Wesley Clark

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To: American Spirit who wrote (966)12/30/2003 8:12:27 AM
From: JakeStraw  Read Replies (1) of 1414
 
Still No Contact With John Kerry Endorser
Officials worried he may be 'stranded in a crater'

Kim Lund, US Press European Desk
London, UK- 12/29/2003

Presidency, the final frontier

Five days after descending upon the Martian surface the last ever John Kerry supporter is still unheard from.

Ruling out weather and internal clock issues as possible explanations for the failure in communication the European Space Agency in conjunction with Democratic leaders in the US now believe embarrassment to be the most plausible reason for the radio silence.

"I mean come on," said one political analyst. "The guy put his money on John Kerry. No wonder he's decided to shut up. Imagine if John had learned to do that."

The endorser was deployed from the Martian Express space vessel last week on a mission to try and find evidence of Joe Lieberman support.

"Maybe we should have sent him on an easier mission," said Colin Pillinger, head scientist of the project. "Like searching for water or amiable suicide bombers, but the European Space Agency have been on such a roll ever since the Ariane 5 rocket exploded back in 96 due to bad numerics and we single handedly developed the international space station's shit
Kerry said today, "My campaign has nothing to do with that tub of sh*t. What is that thing? There is no f*cking way a supporter of mine would be hitching a ride on something like that."
dispenser."

All hope is not lost though. When the mothership enters a lower Martian orbit on January fourth the science team will attempt to uninstall its foul language filter hoping that will prompt a response.

Candidate Kerry himself received the news with a heavy heart.

"I can't f*cking believe it. Now don't tell me my mission to the center of the earth in search for a solid campaign statement failed too."

A rescue mission is planned as soon as the Europeans can wind up another rocket.

news.unclesharky.com
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