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Politics : Politics for Pros- moderated

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To: epicure who wrote (29896)	2/16/2004 1:18:38 PM
From: Neeka	Read Replies (4) of 793670

If having an extramarital affair is no big deal the experts haven't done a very good job of convincing most of American society. What I want to know is if it isn't a big deal why are people "reluctant" to admit they've had an affair? Why go to the emotionally draining act of deceiving one's spouse...or anyone for that matter if all we have to do is understand that it isn't really that important in the "greater scheme of things." And if it were true, then perhaps a great many cases of "problems of emotional pain or dysfunction" might be treated easily and cheaply. ;) I would suggest that affairs cause more emotional pain and dysfunction than they cure, and that the first thought that goes through the mind of the person being deceived is that they are dealing with a liar. How many individuals who read this thread would rather deal with a liar over someone they can trust to be honest and true to their word? My guess would be that the majority of American citizens do not want someone who engages in extra-marital affairs representing them or their country. Some people don't want to understand that millions of other people could never trust a president who "cheats" on his/her spouse........especially because he/she deals in the "greater scheme of things" on a very regular basis. Just as some people won't admit that millions of Americans are totally embarrassed and demoralized by the very thought of a liar speaking and acting on their behalf, and they just don't want to be associated. I've been called a prude and "out of touch with reality" for admitting my embarrassment and difficulty in accepting infidelity. Considering the variety of marriage issues we are confronting today I wouldn't be surprised if someone doesn't suggest that the words "and accept extra-marital affairs" be inserted right before the words "I do" in standard marriage vows. If the day ever comes, we might just as well dump the concept of marriage and erase the word fidelity from our language imo. M The Kinsey Report found that the first time people were asked if they had been unfaithful 30% admitted they had. When they were questioned more thoroughly, another 30% confessed to extramarital sex, bringing the total to 60%, indicating a reluctance to admit to infidelity even for a scientific survey. Most partners deceive their spouse rather than negotiate an open marriage. Multiple sex affairs may be a symptom of deep emotional pain and dysfunction. People who have affairs do put their marriage at risk even though many profess that the affair is about themselves or helps their marriage.

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