Well, hehe, of course the physical sex act is not really the point of my view. My view refers not merely to the heterosexual act but more importantly to the heterosexual biology that literally defines your DNA - a DNA that could not exist outside of heterosexuality. All humans are quite literally biological heterosexuals.
I married at a young age and have been married for quite some time now. And sex for me today is just as relevant as it was the very first time I enjoyed it with my one wife. In fact, it is much more relevant and I am even more eager to share it today. I cannot fathom this ever changing. So I marvel when you claim the relevance of sex decreases over time. From my vantagepoint, sexual expression is a physical expression of the union a husband and wife experiences in life. You know, when my wife and I were young and had shared few sorrows and joys together, we hopped each others bones from the pure exhilaration of physical exploration. It was fun, but relatively shallow compared with now. You don’t have nine children, careers, businesses, homes, property, a life, without also having many triumphs and failures. I have shared them all with my one precious and dear heart of a wife. It has been a wonderful run and I am still pretty young! But now, when I am with her physically, all that we have suffered and enjoyed together is there too. She has seen me at my worst and at my best, and still loves me more than I do. Surely I still work very hard to physically explore my dearest. Of course I now know her very well in that way, much more so than when I was young. The physical exploration continues and sometimes I stumble upon tricks that knock us both flat. But the exploration has over the years expanded to emotion and spirit. No inhibitions, no fears, utter vulnerability and transparency.
Sex ought not lose its relevance in marriage, Shep. It ought to at some point begin to expand beyond the physical, to encompass all of your experience as companions – as friends. I am persuaded that it does not lose its relevance in marriage but actually gains in relevance. |
