More vim & vigor from Edwards website:
Night of the Living Dead
Posted by Apollo 13
Friday February 27, @10:42PM
Breaking News !!!!
KERRY MEDICAL HISTORY UNCOVERED
BALTIMORE (AP) - It began with reporters privately inquiring why there were no mirrors on John Kerry's campaign planes or buses. The whispers grew louder as the democratic front runner steadfastly avoided appearing in churches where crosses were displayed.
Kerry's stiff movement, gaunt frame, jaundiced appearance and dark sunken eyes gave several members of the press corps "the creeps."
Several voters who shook hands with Senator Kerry over the course of the campaign commented on his "cold and clammy" hands.
So an enterprising reporter from the Baltimore Sun started digging into John Kerry's medical history. And here's what he discovered.
According to patient medical records from Johns Hopkins Univerisy Hospital, John Kerry is dead. He died on September 7, 2003.
Contacted at home, Kerry's Hopkins physician, Dr. Patrick Walsh initially rejected the notion. "Dead? Yeah right! Who's that running for president? A zombie? A vampire? That's ridiculous."
However, when confronted with the medical records, Dr. Walsh replied, "I don't want to comment. Death sounds so final. And dead is a technical term I'm not qualified to pass judgment on."
Hopkins Hospital morgue records detail that Senator Kerry's body was released to Terry McAuliffe of Washington, DC.
"I remember a curly haired guy with cowboy boots," morgue clerk Vernon Johnson told the Baltimore Sun. "I remember him because he didn't have a hearse. He just threw the body bag in the back of his SUV and took off. He looked panicked. Wild eyed, out of breath and sweating."
Where McAuliffe took the body and what he did with it remains a mystery.
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Re:Night of the Living Dead
Posted by Linda4Edwards_Bayou State
Friday February 27, @10:44PM
Very clever and entertaining! Thanks
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Kerry is stuck in the past
Posted by Politics
Friday February 27, @10:41PM
Here's a theme to use against Kerry: he's stuck in the past. He always brings up Vietnam...his frame of reference is Vietnam.
We need fresh, new ideas...from a fresh, new face like John Edwards.
Kerry is a sickening candidate.
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John, Save Us from Pathetic Kerry
Posted by Politics
Friday February 27, @10:39PM
John...please save us from this pathetic creature masquerading as a presidential candidate, John Kerry.
This Kerry guy is not only repulsive, he worries me. He is so two-faced, so willing to say anything to get elected, that I am scared of what he would really do as president.
Edwards is so clearly the superior candidate, and the more electable. Kerry brings such heavy baggage...Edwards just needs to point it out, but with his charm and skills as a lawyer.
So please, John, save us from the horrors of Kerry!
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Dr. Dean and Joe Trippi
Posted by Linda4Edwards_Bayou State
Friday February 27, @10:39PM
New AP Story: Dean, Ex-Aide Movements Confuse Backers [yahoo.com]
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Question(s)
Posted by Anonymous
Friday February 27, @10:39PM
If, heaven forbid, John Kerry wins enough next Tuesday to force JRE out of the race, where will Kerry get his ideas and sound bites for the general election? |
