Best of the Web Today - March 10, 2004
By JAMES TARANTO
Foreigners for Kerry? Nicht Ich!
So who were those "foreign leaders" whose support John Kerry was claiming the other day? One obvious suspect would be Gerhard Schroeder, Germany's chancellor, who ran an explicitly anti-American re-election campaign in 2002. But no, according to London's Guardian, "Mr Schröder's spokesman last night denied he was one of the 'foreign leaders' who had sent a secret message of support to Mr Kerry."
Although the left-wing Guardian, which clearly roots against President Bush, asserts that foreign leaders do too, its evidence for that claim in remarkably thin. In fact, the paper interviews Victor Bulmer-Thomas of London's Royal Institute for International Affairs, who "said yesterday he doubted if any head of government had been unwise enough to say in private to Mr Kerry that they wanted him to win and thought it more likely that the 'foreign leaders' to whom the Democratic candidate referred to were foreign secretaries or heads of parliamentary delegations."
Bulmer-Thomas notes that European elites tend to favor the status quo; in the Guardian's words, they are "not convinced there ever had been a golden age and leaned towards 'better the devil you know.' "
But the Guardian adds: "Unsurprisingly, this does not seem to be the view in France." Yet even there, the best the paper can do is a pair of equivocal quotes from less-than-authoritative sources:
"It's clear that Bush is widely disliked in France, even by the right," said Guillaume Parmentier of the France-America Centre. "The whole country and the government would rejoice if he lost. But although the tone of a Kerry administration would certainly be different, many difficulties would remain."
A French foreign ministry official, who asked not to be identified, concurred: "Things might feel better, but they might not be better."
"Things might feel better, but they might not be better." That's some clarion call, isn't it? And it's the best Kerry can do among the French.
Where Have All the Voters Gone?
If the French are unenthusiastic about John Kerry's candidacy, there is evidence that Democratic voters are too. A new study of primary election turnout by the Committee for the Study of the American Electorate gives the lie to Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe's claim last month that "people are turning out in record numbers," the Boston Globe reports. Among the findings:
In Virginia, "the 7.5 percent of Democrats who voted failed to match the only previous Democratic primary, and the figure was well below the 13.2 percent of Republicans who voted in their party's 2000 primary."
In South Carolina, "Democrats this year claimed as a huge triumph after drawing 9.49 percent of party voters to the polls, up from 4.44 percent in 1992." That means South Carolina set a "record," since 1992 was the only previous Democratic primary in the state. But it compares unfavorably with recent Republican results: 19.5% turnout in 2000 and 9.95% in 1996.
In New York, "just 5.39 percent showed up to vote in the Democratic primary, down from 7.40 percent in the 2000 race between Al Gore and Bill Bradley."
Kerry's home state saw 13.65% turnout, an increase from 12.55% in 2000 but a sharp decline from previous years in which Massachusetts Democrats have run for president: 17.99% in 1992 and 22.24% in 1980.
The only exceptions were New Hampshire and Wisconsin, which did see "truly impressive increases" in turnout. Both states were closely contested in 2000; George W. Bush beat Al Gore in the Granite State by just 1.27%, and Gore carried the Badger State by a scant 0.22%. "That may bode well for Democrats in the general election," the Globe says. Then again, it may not. After all, registered independents in New Hampshire and self-described independents and Republicans in Wisconsin (which does not have party registration) were less likely than Democrats to cast their primary ballots for Kerry.
These Defeats Are Hard to Stomach
"Dennis Kucinich's presidential campaign was temporarily derailed Monday, but not by voters," the Cleveland Plain Dealer reports. "Stomach flu took Kucinich off the campaign trail and landed him in a Cleveland-area hospital."
We doubt Kucinich's stomach is in any better shape after yesterday's four Southern primaries. To be blunt about it, things do not look encouraging for his presidential campaign. Kucinich finished fifth in Florida, sixth in Louisiana and seventh in Mississippi and Texas. Among those who outpolled Kucinich were one Bill McGaughy (in Louisiana) and "Uncommitted" (in Mississippi). On the bright side, the returns do show him edging out Lyndon LaRouche in the Bayou State by 81 votes. But to finish no better than fifth in a three-way race--and that's counting Al Sharpton!--has to be reckoned a lackluster performance.
The hard reality is that time is running out for Dennis Kucinich. United Press International reports that Kerry, who won all four of yesterday's primaries, is only about 200 delegates shy of locking up the nomination. Unless Kucinich surprises everyone with his performance in Kansas on Saturday and Illinois next Tuesday, aspiring secretaries of peace will have to wait till at least 2009 to realize their dreams.
This Just In
"Bush Wraps Up Republican Nomination"--headline, Associated Press, March 9
Afropos of Mrs. Kerry
Last month, after we mentioned in passing that John Kerry's wife is African-American, some said that it was inappropriate to describe her that way. One reader asked: "Is James Taranto ignorant and/or confused, or do we have to postulate a conscious effort to give people the subconscious impression that Teresa Kerry . . . is black, and thereby lose Kerry some of the important 'Democratic bigot' vote?"
Well, ask Clarence Page. The eponymous Chicago Tribune columnist weighs in on the subject today:
If Kerry wins the presidency, at least his wife would be our first African-American first lady. Theresa Heinz Kerry, whose ancestry is white Portuguese, was born and raised in Mozambique, and then joined the anti-apartheid movement as a college student in nearby South Africa. She may not be black, but she's a lot more African than most Americans.
It would appear that Page, who is black, agrees with us that a person of pallor can be African-American.
True Unbelievers
Some things are beyond belief. A new political action committee announced its existence at a Washington press conference yesterday: Gampac, the Godless Americans Political Action Committee. "Atheists, Freethinkers, Secular Humanists and other nonbelievers have another alternative in giving voice to our concerns, and letting candidates for public office know that they must now start recognizing us as a potential force in American politics," declared Ellen Johnson, head of the Gampac Task Force.
Nothing against atheists, freethinkers, secular humanists and other nonbelievers, but you have to wonder about folks who believe so strongly in nothing that they organize their lives around it. Just as the line between censoriousness and prurience is often hard to discern, aggressive unbelief would seem to be an unwitting testament to the power of religious ideas.
Look at Gampac's "Issues Briefing" and you'll see what we mean. The Gampackers wax indignant over a host of innocuous legislative initiatives, such as the Moment of Quiet Reflection in Schools Act ("Under the guise of very questionable and subjective FINDINGS claiming the 'benefits' of 60 seconds of quiet reflection for everyone, especially the 'Nations [sic] young citizens' . . .") and a "sense of Congress" resolution urging "the protection of religious sites and the freedom of access and worship" ("The first 'whereas' of this resolution ends with the phrase, 'individuals or groups experienced significant encounters with God.' This wording implies Congressional concurrence and acceptance of monotheism.") The group even objects to a House resolution urging President Bush to present the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Pope John Paul II.
We have to admit, though, it'd be amusing to attend a meeting of Gampac and hear them sing patriotic songs: "God-less America, land that I love . . ."
Rocky: The Jews Made Me Do It!
Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia, now the ranking Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee, in 2002 cast a vote in favor of liberating Iraq. Once Iraq was liberated, Rockefeller switched to the pro-Saddam side of the debate, and now he seems to be suggesting he was the victim of a Jewish conspiracy. The New York Sun reports on a letter Rockefeller wrote to Defense Undersecretary Douglas Feith:
In a section of the October 1 letter to Mr. Feith headed "Coordination with the Israeli Government," Mr. Rockefeller writes, "Have you or anyone in OSD received, in writing or orally, any terrorist-related assessments or intelligence from Prime Minister Sharon's office or other elements of the Israeli government?"
Preceding this question, the senator cites an article by Robert Dreyfuss in the July 7, 2003, issue of the Nation magazine that "indicated that elements of your staff have been coordinating their terrorism assessments with a 'rump unit established last year in the office of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon of Israel.' "
The Nation, of course, is a far-left magazine that is often virulently hostile to the Jewish state. Rep. Anthony Weiner, a New York Democrat, tells the Sun: "The language in the Nation article was very charged and implies sinister motives on the part of the Israelis. I think the senator probably regrets using that same language in his letter of investigation."
Good News Watch
London's Daily Telegraph reports from Saddam Hussein's hometown of Tikrit that anti-American activity has faded since Saddam's capture in December:
According to Falah al-Nakib, the governor of Salahadin province, it was Saddam's money that was funding most of the trouble.
"His capture has definitely reduced the finances that were supporting many of these gangsters," Mr al-Nakib said. "There were also some who thought that one day he might come back."
The violence had the tacit support of some local religious leaders, he added. There was also strong animosity towards the coalition from former Tikriti military officers who were heavily represented in Saddam's forces.
"We had a problem with Islamic leaders who were supporting these kind of operations," Mr al-Nakib said.
"We have discussed it with them and now they have come to accept that these actions were not good for Iraq. Now the majority of religious and tribal leaders and former officers have agreed to work together to rebuild our country."
Another One Bites the Dust
Here's a death we won't be mourning: "Mohammed Abul Abbas, the Palestinian mastermind of the 1985 hijacking of the Achille Lauro passenger ship in which an American tourist was killed, has died in U.S. custody in Iraq," the Associated Press reports. According to the Pentagon, Abbas died of natural causes.
The U.S. captured him in April in Iraq, where he was a guest of Saddam Hussein, who we keep hearing had nothing to do with terrorism. An April 2003 Reuters dispatch noted that upon Abbas's capture, Yasser Arafat's Palestinian Authority demanded his release.
Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994.
Arguing the Alternative
"Interior Minister Makhdoom Faisal Saleh Hayat Tuesday said the country houses no al-Qaeda network, however, the government is fighting against the elements of [the] terror outfit hiding in the Pakistan soil."--PakTribune.com, March 9
A Breed Apart
From an article on same-sex marriage by Sally Jacobs of the Boston Globe:
Virtually all the nearly 50 studies on the children of gay and lesbian parents--who number between 6 [million] and 14 million in the United States, according to various studies--have found no significant differences between children raised by heterosexual or homosexual parents.
According to a sidebar to the same article (on the left side of the screen; scroll down to "misc. material"), "The 2000 Census estimated there were about 19,000 gay couples in Mass., and about 659,000 nationwide, or less than 1 percent of households."
If 659,000 gay couples have between six million and 14 million children, that means the average gay couple has between nine and 21 children--quite a feat for couples who are unable to engage in generative sex. The 2000 census also reports that the total number of Americans under 18 was 72.3 million, so if Jacobs is right, between 8% and 19% of all American children have gay parents.
Are homosexuals really that good at multiplication, or is Jacobs just incompetent at arithmetic of any kind?
Next Stop, Divorce Court
"Gay Couple Ready for Marriage Battle"--headline, Associated Press, March 10
Minority Voting Rights
A Democratic state senator from California has introduced an amendment to the state constitution that would allow minors to participate in elections. John Vasconcellos's proposal, the Associated Press reports, "would give 16-year-olds a half vote and 14-year-old a quarter vote in state elections beginning in 2006."
Vasconcellos's amendment is unlikely to pass, since it requires two-thirds approval of the California Legislature and a vote of the people. Republicans don't like the idea; one, Assemblyman Ray Haynes, calls it "the nuttiest idea I've ever heard."
Then again, if we're right about the Roe effect, lowering the voting age could help Republicans. Maybe the GOP should endorse the Vasconcellos amendment--and when better to do it than today, the National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers?
Virginia Is for Lovers
Is this confusing or what? "Study Examines STD Rates of Teen Virgins," read the headline of an Associated Press dispatch yesterday. If they're virgins, wouldn't their STD (sexually transmitted disease) rate be zero by definition? Not according to Medical News Today, which headlines its story on the same subject "Virgins Have Same Rate of Sexually Transmitted Diseases as Non-virgins." Again, unless sexually transmitted diseases have been eradicated altogether, how could this be?
MSNBC.com provides a little more information in its headline, which reads: "Teen 'Virgins' Face STD Risks, Study Finds." There's also a subheadline: "Less likely to use condoms than non-abstinent youth." Again, why would virgins use condoms at all, unless there were a shortage of balloons?
MSNBC's scare quotes offer a clue to what this is all about, and a Reuters headline finally gives it away: "Teens Pledging Sex Abstinence Often Fail-Study." In other words, the defining characteristic of the teens the AP describes as "virgins" is that they've lost their virginity!
Wow, What's Their Secret?
"Texans Get Younger Every Year"--headline, Associated Press, March 10
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Not Too Brite--CXXXV
"An Oklahoma woman shot her husband to death during a fight after the couple watched a daytime TV talk show on how to survive domestic violence," Reuters reports.
Oddly Enough!
(For an explanation of the "Not Too Brite" series, click here.)
Bartender, I'll Have an Allegation on the Rocks
"Doctor Suspended After Drinking Allegation"--headline, WCVB-TV Web site (Boston), March 9
Could You Spare a Light for My Film?
"Study: Ratings Needed for Smoking Films"--headline, Associated Press, March 10
What Would Swift Sonoran Pronghorns Do Without Experts?
"Swift Sonoran Pronghorn Seems Unlikely to Dodge Oblivion, Experts Fear"--headline, Arizona Daily Star (Tucson), March 6
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
The Smoking Gun reports on the case of 35-year-old Alice Regina Pike, who's in trouble with the law in Covington, Ga. Pike was buying $1,671.55 worth of merchandise at Wal-Mart, and she handed the clerk a $1 million bill. Rather than hand over $998,328.45 in change, the suspicious clerk called the cops, who arrested for forgery. Apparently the bill was a fake.
Coke Adds Life
Here's an interesting item up for auction on eBay: a "LIKELY POSSESSED COKE CAN." Quoting verbatim from the seller's description:
I'll preface this with the fact that I've been hearing odd things in my house at night. I'm betting on either a) aliens or b) ghosts, but it could be the fact that I'm usually drunk and forget to turn off various TV's and stereos. Upon heading to bed, I find that the can has MYSTERIOUSLY sprung open, as if to let out some inner demon. Yeah, I can just sense you geiger-counting/ghost-busting folk about to blow it right now with anticipation. With closer inspection you can see that this OPENED ITSELF. The tab you normally flip forward to open the can is NOT up, and instead the part that should be pushed down into the can has burst out, undoubtedly letting some little demon into my seriously unholy house. So I'm screwed for sure.
BUT HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS: You, the Coca Cola paraphanalia collector, ghost/spirit tracker, etc. can own this gem. We're talking serious level 17 rarity here, kinda like that special magic card the rich nerd bought from the coin shop dork in 10'th grade. Yeah, THAT cool. So bid with the certainty you're getting a can that did something that I have never personally seen happen before, and if that doesn't say enough, well you don't deserve this can, and please don't bid
This auction is for an empty can, packed with care (ie not dented), and shipped via UPS w/ tracking number/insurance. This is 100% serious, as you can tell by my flawless feedback, and I was go after all non-paying bidders. DON'T BID IF YOU DON'T INTEND TO PAY!
As we write, the current bid is $207.50. We're prepared to offer $300, provided the seller can make change for a $1 million bill. |
