Dear God: It appears I got a message to write this letter to you today, it came from Mary Beth who was telling Linda to write God a letter. Somehow I felt you maybe meant for me to over-hear that and take the hint.
I'm not sure if You are going to read this or not , but I think it
will do me good to write it anyway.
The way I see things you might not exactly know everything that's
going on, as you may not want to; excepting if someone wants you
to.
I do reckon you got some bad reports about me in the past, but I
sure hope that more recently you got a few good ones.
It seems the older I get the more confused the world looks, when I was
young it all seemed so simple. To soon we grow old and to late
we grow wise.
I had a lot of problems about being angry at some people, some
of them I even hated, but I guess I need to thank you that I didn't
do more damage than I did by being so full of hatred, looking back it
embarrasses me to think that my hatred was ever so important as to
cause me to hurt someone.
I guess I'm trying to say that I don't think hating someone is some
big mortal sin, as long as you don't make the hatred so important as
to force yourself to mess them up. That hatred could be that important
seems to be the result of someone who is puffed-up. Well I've been
guilty of that, but I didn't understand it at the time, and it wont
happen again, if you will just give me a gentle reminder, and enough
grace to get me past any tough spots.
You know I was ready to kill several people, and I'm fairly sure
I would have if ( you know what could have, and almost did happen ).
all I could think of was "well they will never do that again." It
was not meant to be evil, or in spite, and it may have been avoided
all together if.... well that would take more explaining than you
might be willing to listen to at this time.
I guess I owe you a lot of thanks. It seems now that maybe You were
helping me out of some tough spots even though at the time I didn't
want to have any thing to do with you. It might be good that at those
times I didn't want to have any thing to do with you, as I had so many
tormenters I would have likely asked you to smash them to pieces, grind
them up and send them to the hottest part of hell longer than forever.
I don't know that I ever did anything to cause someone to feel as
bad as the way I did, but I guess maybe I might have, and I now know
that even if I didn't make them feel that bad, it was just luck or
perhaps you looking out for me.
Any way if I did cause some bad feelings like those I had
I don't know what I can do about it now, so if You have some spare time
grant them some peace of mind; and if you can please straighten it out
for me.
You know looking at this letter, it seems maybe I don't have a lot of
faith in you, and that I might still be a tad puffed up, well I don't
feel puffed up, and I wish I did have more faith in you, and I hope that
my wishing for more faith will help make up for my lack of it. You know
I've been concerned about my being a little short on faith in you for a
long time, and so I hope that my being concerned about it at least makes
me ok in Your eyes.
I read something today that I thought was pretty well put, it said
"Don't pray to get more, but to be more." I liked that, so with as
much sincerity as I got, I do request you to help me be more, more
in the way that you would have me to be. Any thing else would be kinda
silly now wouldn't it.
Well I'm getting sleepy , so if you don't mind I'll try to write
more when my brain seems to be working a little better, also I'll try
to explain the gang ethic that I didn't really understand, at the time,
but seems to have cleared up.
Good-night, and I hope I'm considered a friend now.
p.s. I wrote this a long time ago but never got an answer,
so I just found this nice new place to leave it..hoping
you will find it.
Go To Next Letter To God > sat.net
and look 3 or 4 lines down.. |
