Off topic to lighten the mood:
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat
lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She is
such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of
carrying on." So he made the supreme sacrifice. He gave up baked beans.
They were married shortly thereafter.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work, and
since they lived in the country, he had to walk home. On the way home, he
went into a small cafe and called his wife and told her that he would be
late because he had several miles to walk home.
After making the call, he smelled the air in the cafe, and he smelled
baked beans. These were not just any baked beans, though. They were the
best beans he had ever smelled! He could not resist and had three large
orders of baked beans. All the way home he had gas, and after arriving
home, he felt reasonably safe that he had finished the job.
His wife seemed excited and somewhat agitated to see him, exclaiming,
"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!" She
blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the dining room
table. He seated himself. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold,
the telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she
returned.
Seizing the opportunity of her absence, he shifted his weight to one leg
and let go. It was not loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the
napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air about him. Things had
just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on. So he
shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a prize winner.
He figured that he must be done. But then he made a third one. This one made
the crystal in the cabinet shake, and the flowers at the table wilt!
Yet somehow his wife didn't hear him. While keeping his ear on the phone
conversation in the hall, he again fanned vigorously until he heard the
phone farewells, indicating the end of his freedom.
He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it, and
smiled contentedly to himself, and was the very picture of innocence when
his wife returned. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had
peeked. He assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the
blindfold and there was his surprise --
Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday
party! |
