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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices

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To: steve harris who wrote (185850)3/30/2004 7:56:28 PM
From: Road Walker  Read Replies (1) of 1572901
 
Steve,

re:
I am glad Mary did not get an abortion and kill her unborn Child.


You are funny.

Somebody sent this to me via email recently:

WHY CAN'T I OWN CANADIANS?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who

dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio

show. Recently, she said that, as an observant

Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination

according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned

under any circumstance. The following is an open

letter to Dr. Laura penned by a U.S. resident, which

was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as

informative.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people

regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from

your show, and try to share that knowledge with as

many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the

homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind

them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an

abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from

you, however, regarding some of the other specific

laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I

know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -

Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the

odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as

sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what

do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman

while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness

- Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have

tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves,

both male and female, provided they are purchased from

neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this

applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you

clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the

Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put

to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating

shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a

lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.

Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar

of God if have a defect in my sight. I have to admit

that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be

20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,

including the hair around their temples, even though

this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should

they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a

dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play

football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by

planting two different crops in the same field, as

does his wife by wearing garments made of two

different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He

also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really

necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the

whole town together to stone them? -Lev.24:10-16.

Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private

family affair like we do with people who sleep with

their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I

am confident you can help. Thank you again for

reminding us that God's word is eternal and

unchanging.

Your devoted fan, Jim
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