KT, along those same lines ...
(Note to Gersh: this is NOT an attack on God; it's an attack on Shrub)
Mon, April 19, 2004
Calamity George
Bush harbours no worries because God's on his side
By Bill Kaufmann
George W. Bush says he's been praying for fewer casualties in Iraq.
How incredibly immense of the "bring it on" president. There's no substitute for resolute, concrete leadership, even if the praying comes between decisive bouts of hooking bass on the Crawford ranch back-40 while Americans and Iraqis are slaughtered in ever greater numbers.
No doubt Bush, on bended knee last year, also implored his lord to divinely hoodwink Americans with the weapons of mass destruction and Saddam's al-Qaida links catechism.
And lo and behold, God really is on Bush's side.
In Fallujah, which has become Iraq's Alamo, hundreds of people -- most reportedly civilians -- have been killed or disfigured in the American onslaught.
The few reporters who have evaded American efforts to bar outside witness to the massacre describe scenes of women and children in pools of blood, next to a pile of severed limbs.
Other witnesses told how American tanks invaded Baghdad's Sadr City, indiscriminately blasting homes, obliterating kids together with their parents.
Motorists were incinerated in their cars when hit by U.S. missiles launched by those liberating helicopters.
The American occupiers and their Iraqi stooges condemn reporting of the carnage as an incitement to violence.
"I thank the good Lord for protecting ... innocent Iraqis who suffer at the hands of some of these senseless killings by people who are trying to shake our will," says pious Bush, who claimed in a 2003 Mideast trip to have been following orders from his saviour to attack Iraq and Afghanistan.
Bush also tells us we should thank the Lord and His U.S. proxy for preventing any more mass graves being dug in Iraq.
That godly mind meld has assured Bush and the rest of the rapturous that at least 25,000 Iraqi military and civilian deaths in the past year wouldn't constitute a mass grave.
Some British officers serving in Iraq clearly need religion.
One of them interviewed by the Telegraph newspaper said he and his colleagues are appalled by American tactics borne of an attitude that regards Iraqis as "subhuman."
Said the officer: "My view and the view of the British chain of command is they are not concerned with Iraqi loss of life.
"Their attitude towards the Iraqis is tragic, it's awful."
Don't worry, responds Calamity George -- God doesn't sweat the small stuff.
"I'm George W. Bush and God has approved this message: You sand monkeys better get busy and get liberated or we'll have to liquidate you. Then we'll continue rebuilding your country, which will include our military bases whose presence will solidify your liberation even further.
"But just a reminder -- we didn't invade to set up what we like to call 14 'enduring bases' that happen to be scattered over a fabulously oil rich country.
"No sirree -- we came to free you from subjugation. And if you don't like the idea of our military bases on your soil, we'll just call you terrorists and kill you.
"And if you don't like us picking your leaders, making your laws and choosing what happens to your resources and who profits from them, you're evil-doers who'll be killed.
"But it'll feel liberating -- trust us.
"And those WMDs? Well, we think this country is pretty defenceless after all the destruction we've wrought.
"So we've decided to bring over WMD of our own and, just like at home, store them in those enduring bases, in case our Iraqi hosts feel ungrateful about their independence.
"Or use as persuasion if those Iranians next door have the nerve to meddle where they're not welcome and don't belong.
"And we can tell the American people there really are WMD in Iraq and say 'see -- we were right all along.'
"And they'll believe it, because they'll believe almost anything. And even when they find none of it was true, most won't really care. It's called patriotism."
Back in Texas vacationland, Bush speaks of being plenty tough in Iraq, and that the U.S. will remain tough.
Somewhere, there must be evidence of steely toughness in the court-appointed president refusing to testify under oath in front of the 9/11 commission, choosing instead to meet behind closed doors in the company of tutor Dick Cheney.
Americans deserve nothing less than to have the two double up in keeping the truth straight.
And those countries that weren't afraid enough of a defenceless Iraq to join in the Bush bloodbath are still wimpy.
God says so -- he just wouldn't want us calling it a jihad.
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