Hi Holly:
These "actual" doctors' notes have been published many times, but they are worth laughing at again.
Best,
Jack
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Do you trust your doctor? Do you trust doctors? Maybe you should think about
that. The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as
dictated by physicians:
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Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely
disappeared.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in
1983.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to
dispose of him.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a
picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually
deteriorated in the emergency room.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out
of gas and crashed.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to
work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the
pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los
Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead. |
