If you can post your little daughter-of-the-candidate jokes, I'll contribute a few I found on the net, too. Some of these are actually funny! They didn't come from the offical White House website, though!
"President Bush's daughter was cited for underage drinking. That's too bad, when you see something like that happen. She was apparently slurring words, couldn't remember the alphabet. Oh, wait a minute. That's her father." —David Letterman
"Jenna and Barbara Bush celebrated their 21st birthday last week with a party at the Cheers Shot bar in Austin. Following Bush tradition, the drinking started at 5 p.m. and will end in 19 years." —Jimmy Fallon
"President Bush's twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna, turned 21 on Monday. After receiving their birthday cake, Barbara and Jenna made a wish and then blew a .25 on the breathalizer. ... The White House would not release a statement on how the twins celebrated the milestone, but they did say Dick Cheney's undisclosed location was totally trashed." —Craig Kilborn
"Hustler magazine is offering $1 million to anyone who produces a video of the president's daughter nude and drunk at a frat party. Finally, someone in the Bush family is doing something to boost the economy." —Craig Kilborn
"Some sad news about President Bush's niece. Allegedly at one in the morning, Noelle Bush tried to fraudulently obtain prescription drugs at a Walgreen's store. Here's where she made her mistake. Instead of getting her drugs at Walgreen's she should have gone to K-Mart. No witnesses." —Jay Leno
"Today in Florida, Governor Jeb Bush signed a new bill designating today as 'Take Your Daughter To Jail Day.' The governor's 24-year-old daughter was arrested for obtaining drugs with a phony prescription. The pharmacist said he got suspicious when he noticed the prescription said 'take two before partying.'" —Jay Leno
"Did you see President Bush's State of the Union speech last night? Very rousing, inspirational. I liked the part when he pardoned his niece. ... Maybe you don't know about this, but his niece, his brother's daughter, was arrested in Florida for prescription fraud charges. In Florida, fraudulent prescriptions are illegal, but fraudulent elections are okay" —David Letterman
"Bush is now in Genoa, Italy. When he arrived today he was met by protesters throwing bottles and cans. In fact, he was surrounded by so many empties, he got homesick for the girls." —Jay Leno
"Yesterday President Bush came out against human cloning. If anyone knows how much trouble twins can get into, it's President Bush." —Jay Leno
"Jenna 'Anheuser' Bush is trying to get her lawyers to strike a plea bargain agreement over her latest drinking charge. If they can't find an agreement, they said she may lose her driver's license. Which will be no problem. She's got plenty of those." —Jay Leno
"You know the global warming that we've all been talking about? Well, it is getting worse. By the year 2010, this is what the global warming experts say, that global warming will be so bad that there will not be enough party ice for the Bush twins." —David Letterman
"Finally, some good news on the Bush girls. It seems that Jenna Bush is taking up a new musical instrument. She's learning how to play the Breathalyzer." —Jay Leno
"President Bush spent the weekend with his daughters, Jenna and Barbara. Or as they're better known, J & B." —David Letterman
"This weekend, the entire Bush family got together and went to see 'Pearl Harbor.' That's a switch. The Bushes watching someone else get bombed for a change." —Jay Leno
"Do you know the Secret Service code name for Jenna Bush? 'Roger Clinton.'" —Jay Leno
"Jenna Bush was caught trying to buy a drink in Austin with a fake ID. It's her second alcohol incident in a month. She must be extra careful from now on, because under federal law, it's Three Strikes and You're President." —Comedian Argus Hamilton
"Over the weekend, first daughter Jenna 'Anheuser' Bush was cited for alcohol possession by a minor. Well, kids are always trying to outdo the old man. Now the Bushes aren't only raising the bar, they're closing it." —Jay Leno |
