Ingersoll the Magnificent
Address delivered August 11th 1954 dedicating,
as a Public Memorial, the house in which
Robert G. Ingersoll was born, Dresden,
Yates County, in the state of New York.
"In the presence of death I affirm and reaffirm the truth of all that I have said against the superstitions of the world. I would say that much on the subject with my last breath."
-- Robert G. Ingersoll
Editor's note: This introductory quote appeared in Joseph Lewis' Age of Reason Magazine, Volume 18, Number 10, October, 1954. It appears in neither in the first edition nor the AAP edition of the book.
-- Cliff Walker, March, 1998.
The fertile valley of Yates County never produced a better or finer product than the babe who was born in this house one hundred and twenty-one years ago today.
Yates County is known for its beautiful Finger Lakes, but the most celebrated of its products are the sparkling and stimulating wines which are made from the grapes that grow ripe upon your fertile hills.
From these grapes you have made the choicest of vintages. Wines that soothe the troubled brain, that stimulate the heart to exuberance and joy, and that have brought happiness to the sons and daughters of men.
Your wines are now world famous. From the vats of the Pleasant Valley and Taylor wineries, your products are now equal in every degree with the finest champagnes of Europe.
And yet, without the slightest disparagement, poor indeed are your products compared with the thoughts which leaped from the brain of this babe when grown to manhood.
His eloquent words, which by contrast, let me call the Precious Wine of Life, soothes the troubled breast of man, stimulates his intellect, instills into his brain sentiments of love and tenderness and humanity far beyond that produced by the juice of your grapes.
While your grapes may sometimes sour and grow stale, no such deterioration can affect the words and thoughts of Robert G. Ingersoll.
On the contrary, like fine wine, the older the thoughts and sentiments of Ingersoll become, the more delicious the bouquet. His ideas become more valuable day by day -- age merely mellows the product of his brain, and time increases the precious quality of his words.
The more you read of Ingersoll, the more you get out of him, the longer you are acquainted with his eloquence, the more precious becomes the quality of his genius, and the more potent his words.
Your wine is for a moment of pleasure. Drink your champagne for its temporary period of joy; drink it while you may, to drown your sorrow, or to toast your joy; drink it for whatever reason you wish, for when it has accomplished its purpose, it is gone. Not so with Ingersoll. The more you drink the more thirsty you become, the stronger your desire; the more you drink the more there is left to drink.
As each grape of eloquence is eaten and turned into the rarest of intellectual wines, other "grapes" of knowledge, clothed in the beauty of incomparable language, automatically take their places. An ever-renewing marvel of life!
Drink from the fountain of this man's genius. Every swallow has within its sparkling thought, not the intoxication of the senses, but an intoxication that stimulates the mind, develops the brain, and gladdens the heart.
Drink, drink, drink for this Fountain of Eloquence cannot run dry. It is limitless -- It is for all time -- It is eternal.
I believe it was the great Charles Darwin who said, after revealing to the world his discovery of the evolutionary processes of life, that he could not account for a genius.
This statement is substantiated by the fact that we cannot account for the rare genius of Robert G. Ingersoll.
Can it be said that the soil of Yates County, which gives that distinctive quality to the juice of the grape, likewise nourished the soil of his brain wherein common words, by a mysterious transmutation, were turned into sparkling crystals of melody and eloquence?
If that were true, then others who were nourished by the fertility of your soil would have developed as Ingersoll did. If there were any like him, we have no knowledge of them.
What then endowed this babe with his genius?
His mother died when he was a little more than two years old.
Just think of such a tragedy!
A prattling, dimpled babe should lose his mother. A young and tender mother should be deprived of nurturing her own infant child. O, cruel scheme of life!
In all the world of agony and tears there is no sadder, no more poignant, no more heart-rending tragedy than that which was suffered by baby Robert and his mother Mary.
Never have words been written that can describe the tortuous bewilderment of a two year old cherub holding out his dimpled arms for the love and embrace of his mother that shall never take place.
What scheme of life is it that would so ruthlessly still the arms of a mother whose supreme joy is to hold her darling babe -- but whose lifeless arms are never to be raised?
The only memory that Robert G. Ingersoll had of his mother was her lifeless body as she lay in her coffin. What tangled and twisted thoughts must have come into his childish mind when the mother he loved so much could not touch him, and she who loved her baby son so much could not move to clasp him to her breast! "Mamma, Mamma," cried little Robert, as he looked upon his mother's lifeless face. "Hush, little boy, hush. Your mamma is dead!", said a grown-up, as he carried the bewildered little fellow away, never again to see the most beautiful face that was ever mirrored upon the mind of a child.
Mary Livingston Ingersoll lies buried in nearby Cassonvia. How fortunate for the human race that this exceptional woman should have given to the world this child -- this wonderful child, which she endowed with such incomparable mental and physical qualities, before being so tragically taken by The Grim Reaper.
We give her our full measure of thanks for having given us the child she was deprived of seeing grow into manhood.
Would that she could live again, even for a fleeting moment, to feel the joy and rapture of the honor and glory that her illustrious son brought to her!
Scientists tell us that our Universe is hundreds of billions of years old! Have you any conception of such a length of time? Scientists have also demonstrated that the age of the Earth upon which we live is over 3,000,000,000 years old! Just think of it! In simple language it means that the sun has been shining, the earth has turned on its axis, and travelled in its orbit around the sun, the moon has rotated around the earth, the seasons have come and gone, the winds and rains and other elements of nature have never ceased, and every myriad form of life has lived, reproduced and died, beyond the ken of human calculation, and yet a simple, little innocent babe cannot have its mother, and a young and loving mother cannot live long enough to nourish her lisping offspring
How useless seems this vast universe with only this one defect!
I cannot see anything worthy in such a scheme of life.
If, with all the time at my disposal, with all the wealth of the resources of this vast universe, to do with as I will, I could not produce a better scheme of life than now prevails, I would be ashamed of my efforts and consider my work a humiliating failure.
Could I but regulate "this sorry scheme of things," of one thing I would be certain in my arrangement of life. Every child would be wanted, and no disease nor distress would mar the love of mother and child. If death would of necessity be part of life, then every child would live to manhood, and every mother would live long enough to feel that sense of joy which the accomplishments and achievements of her offspring would bring to her proud maternal heart.
I would be ashamed of my efforts if I did not do at least this. This is small enough compensation for the price of living, and helping to perpetuate the human race. Anything less than this is making a mockery of life
Unless, and until, such a condition comes to pass, there is no God in this vast universe worthy of our homage.
Robert G. Ingersoll grew rapidly into manhood.
He was a big man. He was more than six feet tall. He weighed more than two hundred and fifty pounds. He had a massive head -- and a neck of eighteen and one half inches. His face was like a Greek God -- only better chiseled; his penetrating blue eyes, his captivating smile would make the Apollo Belvedere envious. He had a charm of manner; dignity of bearing, and he carried his huge body with such ease, and grace, that none could escape the magnificence of his person. He was a man.
He chose the law for his profession. His rise was rapid.
He met, and courted, and loved the only woman of his life -- "a woman without superstition." He had found his helpmate.
Another thing I would abolish, if I could fashion the universe "nearer to my heart's desire," is war.
What perverted intelligence is there behind the universe, that would produce life in the agony of such indescribable suffering, only to have it snuffed out in the fierce passion of hatred and revenge, with all the horrible suffering of a lingering and agonizing death.
The misery of parting love has been the theme of countless songs and stories. It is unnecessary to repeat them.
Robert G. Ingersoll and his bride, Eva Parker, suffered this poignancy.
Hardly before they had finished their first passionate kiss of love, the young husband was torn from the loving embrace of his young bride, and ordered off to war.
Why is there so much unnecessary suffering to life?
Robert G. Ingersoll became a Colonel in the United States Army. He fought in the Civil War. He fought in the war of Liberation. A war when brother fought against brother, where father fought against son -- a war where the tender ties of family were subordinated to the great cause of Freedom for all, and the preservation of the Union. A war to restore the integrity of the original draft of the Declaration of Independence, as Thomas Paine wrote it: to abolish negro slavery and make our country truly free.
But let me tell you this: That no danger which Robert G. Ingersoll faced -- no battery of gunshot -- no steel bayonet could compare with the danger he was to face when he fought to free men's minds from the shackles of ignorance and religious superstition.
When Robert G. Ingersoll fought as a Colonel in the Civil War, his conduct was that of gallantry. When he fought the combined opposition of religious hatred, antagonism and ignorant fanaticism, he was magnificent.
When the bloody Civil War was over, Robert G. Ingersoll entered the political arena. He became Attorney General of the State of Illinois. His fame as an orator, his integrity, his reputation as an astute lawyer, made him the most logical candidate for the nomination for the Governorship of his state.
His views on the question of religion, by this time, were well known. He never lost an opportunity to speak the praises of Thomas Paine.
A delegation of political leaders came to see him.
They stated their business, and named the conditions upon which he was to receive the nomination for the Governorship of the State of Illinois.
The proposition was that he would receive the nomination provided he concealed his religious opinions.
Robert G. Ingersoll refused to accept their proposition. They begged, they implored him to change his mind. They told him that they did not want him to change his convictions, but merely to keep them to himself.
When the conference was over, Ingersoll was adamant. He gave them a peremptory "Good-by, gentlemen," with this further explanation: Here is his laconic reply: "I am not asking to be Governor of Illinois ... I have in my composition that which I have declared to the world as my views upon religion. My position I would not, under any circumstances, not even for my life, seem to renounce. I would rather refuse to be President of the United States than to do so. My religious belief is my own. It belongs to me, not to the State of Illinois. I would not smother one sentiment of my heart to be the Emperor of the round world..."
"A good man," he said, "should not agree to keep silent just for the sake of an office. A man owes his best thoughts to his country."
Did any statesman, in any country on the face of this earth, utter a more magnificent statement?
There was to be no chains of slavery upon the brain of Robert G. Ingersoll; there was to be no shackles of servitude upon his mind. His intellectual independence was far more important, and far more valuable, than the governorship of any state in the union, or even the Presidency of the United States.
Robert G. Ingersoll was to remain a free and independent human being, under the government which he so proudly loved, and fought so gallantly to preserve.
There was no office on the face of this earth that could induce him to sacrifice his intellectual integrity, or cause him to commit assault upon the children of his brain.
How paltry seem the excuses of some people today, who refuse to express their honest convictions, for fear of some petty retaliation.
The Brooklyn minister, by the name of DeWitt Talmadge, sought to "answer" Ingersoll's attacks upon Christianity by stressing the fact that he had lost the nomination for Governor of Illinois because of his unbelief.
Should Ingersoll have been condemned for having been true to his principles -- to his intellectual integrity -- or should he have been a hypocrite, like so many ministers, and remained silent in order to secure that which was trash compared to his being true to himself?
In reply to Talmadge, Ingersoll said: "I thought it better to be honestly beaten, than to dishonestly succeed. If I had been a successful hypocrite, I might now be basking in the sunshine of this gentleman's respect.... I preferred to tell the truth and I have never regretted the course I pursued."
The trouble with most ministers of religion is that they have been so steeped in hypocrisy and sophistry that they cannot understand what intellectual integrity means. They are so accustomed to mental lying, as a measure of success, that they cannot understand what prompts a man to prefer to be true to himself -- who prefers to tell the truth -- for the truth's sake, rather than gain public recognition by being a hypocrite.
No wonder Ingersoll said, "it is a magnificent thing to be the sole proprietor of yourself."
Do not think for a moment that it is not at times heart-breaking to find a man like Ingersoll, who fought so courageously for the enlightenment and advancement of mankind, to suffer insults and rebukes for his efforts, while liars and hypocrites reap the rewards which he so richly deserved.
No man who was ever President of the United States, no man who ever held the highest office of any government on the face of this earth, equalled the intellectual grandeur of Robert G. Ingersoll.
Ingersoll never hesitated to tell the world that he preferred liberty above all else. He said: "I want no heaven for which I must give my reason; no happiness in exchange for my liberty, and no immortality that demands the surrender of my individuality. Better rot in the windowless tomb, to which there is no door but the red mouth of the pallid worm, than wear the jeweled collar of a god."
It was the considered political opinion of his day that the governorship of the State of Illinois was the stepping stone to the presidency of the United States. Anyone who has the slightest inkling of the political and social prestige possessed by a President of the United States, or even the governor of one of our sovereign states, can understand the exorbitant price paid by Robert G. Ingersoll for the independence of his mind.
Robert G. Ingersoll was the only man, to my knowledge, in the history of our country, who possessed the magnificence of character, to retain the integrity of his mind and heart, in preference to the highest political office in the gift of the American people.
Robert G. Ingersoll was maligned, insulted, slandered, libeled, caricatured, shunned and ostracized. He was banned, rotten-egged, booed and his life threatened. He was indicted in the state of Delaware for blasphemy. He was denied the right to speak in many cities, and the doors of public and private halls were closed to him.
Some people are afraid they will lose their jobs, some afraid of being shunned by friends, some are afraid that their children will suffer, but Robert G. Ingersoll never gave a thought to what his intellectual liberty would cost. It was cheap at any price.
Ingersoll knew the petty jealousies, the narrow-mindedness of the bigoted and the prejudiced. He knew that they blabbered merely for the sake of blabbering. They denounced him not only without cause, but with a wickedness and viciousness of unparalleled venom. Their puny and pigmy brains were unable to comprehend his altruistic motives for the emancipation of man.
Fortunately, their attacks had no effect upon him.
The shining quality of his integrity was such, that not only did he not feel the darts of these spiteful people, but he even made excuses for their reprehensible conduct because of their ignorance.
He himself best describes their perversity. He said, regarding the holding of political office, that, "If you come back with a dollar in your pocket they will swear that you stole it, and if you come back dead broke, they will swear that you lost it at poker."
Ingersoll was so well armed in honesty, that the threats from his enemies, and the slanders of the thoughtless, passed him by as Shakespeare would say, "like the idle winds for which he had no respect."
Ingersoll's daughter Maud, once told me that her father never forgave a man who had maligned him. And if he did, he always regretted it. I have never forgotten that statement, and it has proved its value to me on many occasions, because I too have been the target for attacks from the scoundrels of slander.
There is a detestable trait in the make-up of many human beings. Perhaps it is some form of atavism -- the primitive instinct of jealousy of the attainments of others. These mentally warped human beings are always "belittling," and without the slightest justification are continually casting slurs and slanders upon those who fight for the advancement of mankind.
The poison of their prejudice knew no bounds; they would rather do harm to the greatest of causes than restrain the fury of their fanatical hatred.
Among the many slanders and vituperations heaped upon Ingersoll was the charge that he had made money out of his unbelief!
Despite his great demand as an orator, and at the same time being of the greatest and foremost lawyers of his day, Ingersoll died leaving an estate of only $80,000.00.
If money is the criterion by which we are to measure a man's worth for his contribution to the intellectual, moral and social advancement of the human race, then Robert G. Ingersoll should have left an estate of $80,000,000.00!
He lived in the days when men acquired great wealth. Contemporary lawyers died leaving enormous estates.
If money was Ingersoll's ambition, he would have died a multi-millionaire.
His services to the human race were priceless!
He gave up the Presidency of the United States to free men's minds -- and wicked minded clergymen charge him with marring money out of his unbelief!
What is religion?
Is religion anything but profit?
If not, how come that you read almost daily in the newspapers of priests and rabbis and clergymen who die leaving estates aggregating hundreds of thousands of dollars?
How did they acquire their money? I will tell you.
Religion is all profit. They have no merchandise to buy, no commissions to pay, and no refunds to make for unsatisfactory service and results.
And what about the vast wealth owned by the religious organizations whose assets total billions of dollars. What did they do for this money? They did not save a single soul, because man has no soul to save. It was all profit -- 100% profit.
Their commodity is fear. They blackmail their parishioners with threats of hell and damnation. These poor deluded people give them their hard earned money to save them from a hell that does not exist, and from eternal torment that was invented by the perverted minds of priests to rob the living and in addition, the church and the clergy are exempt from taxation! Insult to injury!
Let me tell you that religion is the cruelest fraud ever perpetrated upon the human race. It is the last of the great scheme of thievery that man must legally prohibit so as to protect himself from the charlatans who prey upon the ignorance and fears of the people.
The penalty for this type of extortion should be as severe as it is of other forms of dishonesty.
Ingersoll dedicated his life, suffering the rebukes and insults of the ignorant and prejudiced, to liberate mankind from the demoralizing dogmas of religion which have so stultified the human race; and in addition he suffered an ostracism that some people would not endure for all the money in the world.
O, you miserable scandal-mongers who attack the integrity of a man who is ready to give his liberty and his life to fight the battle for humanity.
Shame on those who so unjustly malign the Fighters for Freedom.
It will be a wonderful day when men and women will be willing to pay for mental emancipation as they now pay for stultification -- when Freethought becomes profitable and religion a financial failure.
What a day of justice that will be!
Yes, it will be a day of justice when men and women will no longer pay, by the sweat of their brows, to be taught the grossest superstition; but instead, will receive useful knowledge for the fruits of their labor; knowledge that will give them courage to face life and its problems; will give them a better understanding of the universe, that will make them live better lives -- be better citizens -- and bring happiness to themselves and to their families; when they will take the Cash of life and let the Credit of death go.
Bigotry, ignorance and prejudice deprived this country of the services of Robert G. Ingersoll, and I need not hesitate for a single moment when I say that he possessed a greater intellect than any man who ever sat in the Presidential chair.
What intellectual prestige Robert G. Ingersoll would have brought to the Executive Mansion as President of the United States of America!
World admiration would have been showered upon us.
What wonders he would have accomplished!
Religion has many blots upon her blood-stained garments, but no "damned spot" is more ineradicable, than that of having deprived the people of this great Republic of the genius of Robert G. Ingersoll.
And yet, I had rather ten thousand times ten thousand times over, that the name of Robert G. Ingersoll be omitted from the list of governors of the State of Illinois, than that the world should have been deprived of only one of his incomparable lectures.
I had rather ten thousand times ten thousand times over, that the name of Robert G. Ingersoll be omitted from the list of the presidents of the United States of America, than that the world should have been deprived of only one of his matchless orations.
"Myth and Miracle," "Heretics and Heresies," "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child," "The Mistakes of Moses," will be read long after the names of the Governors and Presidents of Ingersoll's day are forgotten.
When you realize the grip of tyranny that religion has had over the minds and bodies of men for thousands of years, it seems almost incredible that any progress, whatever, was made towards liberty.
As the breaking of the chains from the bodies of men was a slow and painful process, so it will be in emancipating the mind of man from the invisible shackles of mental slavery.
We owe an everlasting debt to the brave men and women of the past who, one by one, faced the brutal power of the church in the Best of Causes.
None stand higher, or is more deserving of our homage than Robert G. Ingersoll.
O, brave and courageous Ingersoll, I love and honor you for the magnificent stand you took by refusing to surrender your intellectual integrity for a "mess of potage."
Your example will be a shining light to future generations, who will be inspired by your courage to follow your exemplary conduct.
I can assure you that if Robert G. Ingersoll was ever president, the people of the United States would not be insulted by having a diplomatic representative at the Vatican, and there would be no religious flag flying above that of Old Glory.
The Cross of Christ, which has for its dogma, "believe and have eternal life; believe not, and be eternally damned," would not replace, even for a single moment, The Star Spangled Banner, which guarantees to each and all of its citizens, equality and justice under the law.
I tell you that the flag of Christianity which now flies above that of the official emblem of this nation, when religious services are being held in our armed forces, is an insult to the American people, and a violation of the provisions of the Constitution.
If Robert G. Ingersoll was ever president, there would be no silly Thanksgiving Day proclamations, and no specially designated days for public prayers.
Praying does not give one the knowledge he needs of the proper conduct as an individual in society, nor as a member of the community. All the praying in the world will not solve a single problem, or bring a ray of intelligence to the mind. Not a single prayer, in all the long history of the human race, has ever been answered.
If Robert G. Ingersoll was ever president you would not be able to find a single clergyman, who would expose his ignorance to the public, by asking divine guidance for the members of Congress, because, as Ingersoll so aptly put it -- "The clergy know that I know, that they know, that they do not know."
If Ingersoll was ever president, men and women would be selected for public service upon their merit and ability to perform the duties of their office, rather than be selected because of their religious affiliations, or because of the number of votes they would bring to the party.
Only recently, I had occasion to write to a United States Senator and call his attention to the provisions of the Federal Constitution, which states that "No religious test shall ever be required to hold an office of public trust under the government of the United States."
This Senator had selected three candidates for judicial office solely because of their religious affiliations, rather than upon their ability to administer justice impartially.
If Ingersoll was ever president, there would be no kow-towing to the religious element -- no abdication of the prerogative of the high office of the presidency.
Laws for the benefit of the people would not be sidetracked because the feelings of some religious people would be "offended"; and by the same token, laws granting special privileges to religious individuals and organizations, would not be permitted, to the disadvantage of other citizens.
He would not let religious parasites suck the life blood out of the people by tax exemption.
Discrimination, in the matter of laws, would completely vanish. Ingersoll knew only too well the danger of the church upon the body politic and warned: "Give the church a place in the constitution, let her touch once more the sword of power, and the priceless fruit of all ages will turn to ashes on the lips of man."
Praying as a public function, particularly when led by a clergyman, is a vulgar display of an exclusively personal matter. Prayer is something that cannot be done by proxy. Public prayer is, if nothing else, an undignified public performance -- a humiliating spectacle. Praying for victory on the battlefield is the height of folly. There could be nothing sillier, if it were not so tragic. Prayer has not only never prevented war, nor brought victory, but it becomes a dangerous practice which leads many to rely upon help from a source that only "echoes our wailing cry," and has the tendency to disarm us from using every ounce of our energy in fighting the enemy.
"In wars between great nations," says Ingersoll, "the gods still interfere; but in prize fights, the best man with an honest referee, is almost sure to win."
Prayers are only wasted efforts on the desert air.
Under an administration of Robert G. Ingersoll our motto would not be, "In God We Trust," but rather, "Liberty" and "Equality before the Law."
What a rule of sanity would come into the public service of this Republic of ours if Robert G. Ingersoll had ever been president.
Ingersoll would not have flattered ignorance at the expense of intelligence merely because it wore the cloak of religion.
At the present time, many of our office holders disgrace themselves, besides violating their oath of office, by placating the religious element in the matter of legislation and the administration of the law. For instance, most of our divorce laws are not based upon justice and consideration for the parties to the marriage contract, but rather contain provisions dictated by the Roman Catholic Church. Imagine using as an authority in the matter of marriage the opinion of a celibate priest!
Recently, the State of New York disgraced itself by a ruling which permitted students, whose parents are Christian Scientists, from participating in examinations where the germ theory of disease is discussed!
The scientific discovery of the germ theory of disease has saved the human race millions of lives and prevented the suffering of million" of people. And yet this insult to modern intelligence is permitted to satisfy the delusions of Christian Scientists!
Do you know that at one time the Courts of this state seriously considered discontinuing the study of geography in our public schools because some religionists still believed in the Biblical concept of the flatness of the earth!
We allow the violation of the Medical Practices Act, by brutal and savage religionists, by permitting them to mutilate helpless infants so as to conform with the savage Biblical text concerning circumcision.
This is the humiliating concession that we make to potential murderers in the name of the Religion of Judaism!
If Ingersoll had been president his influence would have permeated every governmental position. A new, braver, and more courageous office-holder would have come into existence. Men and women would have cherished the honor of serving the public, and would have been guided by the maxim that "public service is a public trust."
Hardly a department of the government activity would not have benefitted by his example of devotion to social, political and intellectual progress.
Imagine what an administration, free from theological taint, would have accomplished! Imagine the abuses which would have been avoided, and the wrongs which would have been corrected; the intellectual freedom which would have prevailed; the progress which would have followed, and the hypocrites which would have been driven from public life; the religious leeches who would have been forced to labor for their living, and last, but not least, the billions of dollars of church property which would have been forced to pay their rightful share of taxes so as to relieve the burden now borne so unjustly by the rest of the community, for as Ingersoll says, "to exempt the church from taxation is to help pay the priest's salary."
It was within the grasp of the people of this country to have as president a man who would have developed the resources of this great nation to an unbelievable extent, achieved material progress beyond our imagination, and would have established institutions that would have brought peace and happiness not only to our own people, but to all the world!
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