| Michael, it's so good to hear from you. Would you be interested in purchasing Perfect Trader's latest instructional pamphlet, "Technical Analysis of Slot Machines"? I hope so, because Perfect Trader has sent several hundred boxes of the popular pamphlet to your home, COD. Included are Perfect Trader's last few hundred thousand unsold copies of "1500 Worst-Case Scenarios for Technical Analysts," a cautionary trading manual that has failed for years to capture the attention of professional (otherwise unemployed) day traders. "Technical Analysis of Slot Machines" endeavors to show wagering enthusiasts how to profit from Fibonacci ratios, rabbits' feet, crystals, logarithmic spirals, point & figure charting, proprietary oscillators, creative visualization, hypnotism, quantum mechanics, static electricity and many other breakthrough techniques and strategies. All of these questionable, quasi-scientific methods are applied to forecasting randomly generated losing combinations on slot machines. It's not unlike trading stocks. You've been billed for the lot. Please remit! Your bill is already 15 seconds overdue. Late payment charges are being applied. |
