Subject: 20 things you have to be believe to be a Republican today
>
>
> > 1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
> > Clinton.
> >
> > 2. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
> > conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
for
> > your recovery.
> >
> > 3. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
highest
> > national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
> >
> > 4. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but
> > crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of
> > illness.
> >
> > 5. "Standing Tall for America'" means firing your workers and moving
their
> > jobs to India.
> >
> > 6. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
> > multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
> > without regulation.
> >
> > 7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
> > speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
> >
> > 8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for
> > governor of California as a Republican.
> >
> > 9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
> >
> > 10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,
> > then demand their cooperation and money.
> >
> > 11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at
heart.
> >
> > 12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
health
> > care to all Americans is socialism.
> >
> > 13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
> > creationism should be taught in schools.
> >
> > 14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's
> > daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and
a
> > bad
> > guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
> >
> > 15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
> > offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which
thousands
> > die is solid defense policy.
> >
> > 16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
> > Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
> > Internet.
> >
> > 17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
> > George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
> >
> > 18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John
Ashcroft
> > can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
> >
> > 19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
but
> > what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
> >
> > 20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade
> > with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
> >
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