This is for mph.
What's the difference between a consultant and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
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If you laid all the consultants in the world head to foot around the Equator, then...
Hey, come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea.
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What do you call 5000 dead consultants at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
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When consultants die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
Because down deep, they are all nice guys.
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In the construction field, it is often noted that consultants make the worst clients. However, a couple of years ago I met an old carpenter that said consultants were always his favorite clients!
When I asked him why he got so much pleasure out of having consultants as clients he replied, "I only build coffins now."
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A restaurant full of consultants was held hostage.
The bad guys threatened that, until all their demands were met, they would release one consultants every hour.
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Q. Why do they bury consultants ten feet down instead of the traditional six (feet)?
A. Because deep down they're not such bad guys.
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What’s the difference between a consultants and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.
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What do you have if three consultants are buried up to their necks in cement?
Not enough cement.
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Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work.
“I don’t understand,” Cindy complained. “When people find out I’m a consultants, they take an instant dislike to me. Why would they do that?”
Her friend appeared to think for a moment and then suggested, “Maybe it just saves time.”
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Changing consultants is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic.
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Did you hear about the consultants whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the consultants won, the dog bit him.
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How many consultants does it take to roof a house?
Depends on how thin you slice them.
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Two consultants have a suicide pact; they will jump off the towers of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco at exactly the same time. Each has nearly the same body type and their weights are identical. One is wearing a brown suit; the other is wearing a blue suit.
Question: Who hits the bay first?
Answer: Who cares?! |
