This is even funnier if you are old enough to remember seeing "Who's on first" by Abbott and Costello.
Sorry it's too long and I don't have time to remove all the (>)....
Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott
> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
> COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den,
> and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
> ABBOTT: Mac?
> COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.
> ABBOTT: Your computer?
> COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
> ABBOTT: Mac?
> COSTELLO: I told you, my names Lou.
> ABBOTT: What about Windows?
> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?
> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
> the windows?
> ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
> and software.
> ABBOTT: Software for windows?
> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can
> use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.
> What have you got?
> ABBOTT: Office.
> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
> anything?
> ABBOTT: I just did.
> COSTELLO: You just did what?
> ABBOTT: Recommend something.
> COSTELLO: You recommended something?
> ABBOTT: Yes.
> COSTELLO: For my office?
> ABBOTT: Yes.
> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
> ABBOTT: Office.
> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
> ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.
> COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows!
> OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
> type a proposal. What do I need?
> ABBOTT: Word.
> COSTELLO: What word?
> ABBOTT: Word in Office.
> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't
> start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I
> watch movies on the Internet?
> ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
> COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I
> watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
> ABBOTT: Real One.
> COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2,
> 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
> ABBOTT: Of course.
> COSTELLO: Great, with what?
> ABBOTT: Real One.
> COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
> movie. What do I do?
> ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."
> COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
> ABBOTT: The blue "1."
> COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?
> ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
> COSTELLO: What word?
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for
> windows"!
> ABBOTT: No, just one. but its the most popular Word in
> the world.
> COSTELLO: It is?
> ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
> Words left. It Pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
> COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
> ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One
> isn't even Part of Office.
> COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
> financial bookkeeping you have anything I can track my money
> with?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
> COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
> COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
> How much?
> ABBOTT: One copy.
> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(LATER)
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......... |
