A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS
372.01 - Any person with a valid California state rodent or deer
hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational
and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.
372.02 - Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted.
The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.
372.03 - The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is
prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in
reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle,
the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle
should proceed to the nearest car wash.
372.04 - It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from
a power boat, helicopter or fixed-wing aircraft.
372.05 - It is unlawful to shout "Whiplash!", "Ambulance!", or "Free
Scotch!" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
372.06 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within one hundred (100)
yards of BMW, Porsche, or Mercedes dealerships, except on Wednesday
afternoons.
372.07 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within two hundred (200)
yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or
hospitals. No fair, that's their stompin' grounds!
372.08 - If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary
to have a license to hunt, trap or possess same.
372.09 - It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a
reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant
for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
372.10 - Bag Limits Per Day
Yellow Bellied sidewinders 2
Two-faced Tortfeasors 1
Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators 3
Horn Rimmed cut-throats 2
Honest Attorneys PROTECTED (ENDANGERED SPECIES) |
