Insults about Politics & Politicians :::Bill Clinton
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- George Stephanopolous
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair
Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.
- Pat Buchanan
I'm just sick and tired of presidents who jog. Remember, if Bill Clinton wins, we're going to have another four years of his white thighs flapping in the wind.
- Arianna Huffington
President Clinton apparently gets so much action that every couple of weeks they have to spray WD-40 on his zipper.
- David Letterman
Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.
- Tom Clancy
I have never seen. . .so slippery, so disgusting a candidate.
- Nat Hentoff on Bill Clinton
The prince of sleaze.
- Jerry Brown on Bill Clinton
Former President Clinton went to London to see Chelsea and meet her new boyfriend. I guess the boyfriend told Clinton he thought of him as a role model. Clinton said, "That's it! You are not dating my daughter!"
- Jay Leno
Can you believe there's only two days left in the Clinton administration? Boy, time flies when you're having sex.
- Jay Leno
When I was president, I said I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Well what we have now is a convertible Dodge.
- Former U.S. President Gerald Ford on Bill Clinton
Hell, if you work for Bill Clinton, you go up and down more times than a whore's nightgown.
- James Carville
Everyone loves St. Patrick's Day. Up in Chappaqua, President Clinton celebrated the way he does every year - he got an intern to chase the snake out of his pants.
- David Letterman
President Clinton will be moving out of the White House next week, and when he does he is excepted to be the first President in history not to get his security deposit back.
- SNL Weekend Update anchor Jimmy Fallon
I wouldn't want any un-neutered Clintons in my house.
- Former Labor Secretary nominee Linda Chavez, wondering about the reproductive status of Socks the cat, whom she has offered to adopt
He's got a scandalous past and he's talking about how much he's going to love being the (Senate) spouse's club. Do you think that makes the male senators feel good? Do you think Sen. Orrin Hatch right now is sleeping easy? Do you think Lieberman doesn't think Clinton is going to be sidling on up to Hadassah in the Senate club: 'Can I buy you a Manishevitz?' Believe me, they're nervous.
- Jon Stewart on Bill Clinton
It's the first time Clinton has ever rejected pussy in his life.
- G. Gordon Liddy on reports that the Clintons were giving away First Cat Socks to Betty Currie
According to a new study by a professor at the University of Minnesota., Bill Clinton is considered one of the most intelligent presidents we've ever had, IQ-wise. What's even more impressive is if you consider what he was thinking with most of the time.
- Jay Leno
Bill Clinton is looking for a place to live here in Manhattan. I think it'd be nice to have a former president living here. He's up in the Upper East side. He's looking for an apartment in that very exclusive building, 'One Impeachment Plaza.'
- David Letterman
President Clinton made a deal so he wouldn't be prosecuted … Not only that, all the sex charges against him have been plea-bargained down to practicing gynecology without a license.
- Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible. You know, the one with only seven commandments. - David Letterman
George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.
- David Letterman
Clinton made a stop in Chicago yesterday continuing his cross-country farewell tour as the president. Clinton's nationwide farewell tour should in no way be confused with Al Gore's recent farewell tour Jay I mean, election campaign. ... The tour was an emotional one, as it may be the last time for thousands of young Americans to see their father.
- Craig Kilborn
In just two weeks, Bill Clinton will no longer be President of the United States. He'll just be another chubby, middle-aged guy annoying the waitresses at Hooters.
- Jay Leno
He's going around the country ... basically thanking himself for being our president.
- MSNBC's Chris Matthews on Clinton's farewell tour
Clinton is saying he's going to model his after-presidential life after Jimmy Carter. He'll be doing a lot of hammering and a lot of nailing, but he ain't building houses.
- David Letterman
I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years.
- Bill Clinton
I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the federal prison system.
- Bill Clinton, on life in the White House
What's a man got to do to get in the top fifty?
- Bill Clinton, reacting to a survey of journalists that ranked the Lewinsky scandal at the 53rd most significant story of the century
Last time I saw (Clinton) he was swinging on the chandelier in the Oval Office with a brassiere around his head, Viagra in one hand and a Bible in the other, and he was torn between good and evil.
- Congressman James Traficant, Jr.
Say what you want about the President, but we know his friends have convictions.
- Congressman Dick Armey (R-Tex.), on President Clinton
The president looked me in the eye and told me the same thing on several occasions. And I'm not upset. You want to know why? Because I never believed him in the first place.
- Sen. Robert Torricelli, on Bill Clinton's denials of an affair with Monica Lewinsky |
