Bush, Kerry Compare Swords--Both Come Up Short
05/18/04 TOPEKA, Kansas
President Bush and Senator John Kerry had an unplanned meeting at a truck stop outside Topeka, Kansas, yesterday as both men left the fabled town after commemorating the Supreme Court's Brown vs. Board of Education decision.
Adding to the coincidence was the fact that both candidates were headed for campaign stops at Masonic lodges and therefore had in their possession ceremonial antique swords often used in secret Masonic rituals.
At the urging of their respective staffs and goaded on by the truck stop's patrons, Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry agreed to produce their swords for a friendly comparison in the gift shop.
Mr. Bush's weapon, forged in Texas and handed down from the president's grandfather, was thick and weighty, though it appeared somewhat dull and unpolished. Mr. Kerry's sharper and overly polished French-made weapon, granted to him by Theresa Heinz Kerry, was a bit dainty in comparison, though it had not one but two sharpened edges, making it difficult to tell which way it cut.
After some mutual inspection and the requisite ooohing and aaahing from those assembled, the presidential rivals playfully brandished their swords at each other and crossed them with a loud clang right in front of the cash register.
Unfortunately, due perhaps to some overzealousness by both candidates, Mr. Kerry lost his balance and fell down, then quickly popped up and cast an accusatory glance at a nearby secret service agent.
Far more tragically, Mr. Bush lost his grip on his crude Texas shaft and sent it flying into the crowd, accidentally beheading a Palestinian reporter from the US government's Arab-language TV channel, Al Hurra.
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