"Kerry Attacks Bush on 'Debt Trap'" Kerry Tries To Change the Subject
John Kerry, the Democratic Hero for President, tried yesterday in Daly City, California to change the subject.
Before his speech to a dwindling audience, Kerry read the latest issue of the LA Times. He was visibly shaken when he learned that California is now back in play, that Bush had remarkably closed the hugh gap between them since the Democratic National Convention.
The LA Times article credited the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth with Bush's latest surge.
Kerry, in desperation, called a special meeting of his group of advisors. George Soros urged him to ". . .change the subject, and do it now. You don't have a lot of time left, John, to staunch this flood. You must be manly and brave. Your campaign is taking on water like your Swift Boat did when it was hit by that water balloon that that retreating Viet Cong teen ager tossed at your boat."
"Well, George, what do I say?" Kerry asked fearfully.
"Talk about the debt trap, John" Soros replied. You realize that you and I are billionaires. But we have to overcome that advantage to convince the millions of poor and disadvantaged voters that we have their best interest in mind."
"Ah, yes," Kerry replied, his demeanor noticeably changing as he talked. "That's the ticket. We must change the subject. We must seize the initiative once again. We must show Everyman and Everywoman that, despite our billions, we feel their pain."
"Yes, John," Soros replied with a cunning smile forming at his thin lips and overwhelming his usual sneer. "You are finally catching on. Your salute at the convention may have been weak and wishywashy but now, with this issue, you can once again bravely lead the charge against those predator lenders and money grubbers in that disgraceful repub party."
Now, with his courage recharged, Kerry mounted the podium and raised his hand in a smart salute. "I am John Kerry and I am your next billionaire President. With George Soros at my side, I plan on personally growing this great American economy by at least 3.8% during my first quarter in the White House."
"But how will you achieve that?" a querilous member of the crowd wanted to know.
"That's none of your business," Kerry replied. Then pointing his finger at the little old lady who asked the question, Kerry jabbed it again and again in her direction, all the while shouting at the top of his voice:
"Are you a Republican? Tell me! Tell me now! I know that you are a Republican and that you were sent here to heckle me by none other than George Bush and Karl Rove. Now get the hell out of here you dumb ass."
With that, Kerry smiled and ended his speech, meanwhile waiting for the small crowd to break into the huzzah! huzzah! huzzah! for which they had been well paid. |
