Moronical postof the day
A Day in the Life of Joe Middle-Class Republican
by Donna L. Lavins and Sheldon Cotler
Joe gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot with good, clean drinking
water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily
medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some
liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan. Because some
liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast -- bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to eat
because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
Joe takes his morning shower, reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with
every ingredient and the amount that is contains because some liberal fought for his right to
know what he was putting on his body and the breakdown of its contents. Joe dresses, walks
outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station
for his government-subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and
transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which
gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement,
paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these
working standards. Joe's employer meets these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get
worker's compensation or an unemployment check because some liberal didn't think he should
loose his home to temporary misfortune.
It's noon time. Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is
federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from
unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below market federal student
loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if
he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country.
He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the safest in the world because some
liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third
generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until some big government
liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification (those rural
Republican's would still be sitting in the dark).
Joe is happy to see his dad, who is now retired. Joe's dad lives on Social Security and his
union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't
have to. After his visit with dad, Joe gets back in his car for the ride home. He turns on a radio
talk show. The host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't
tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe
enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees, "We don't need those big government liberals ruining
our lives. After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves,
just like I have."
In the years to come, Joe's life will change dramatically. The U.S. dollar will be devalued as a
result of our huge deficit, our living standards demolished, our standing with the world
diminished and our social security gone...all because some conservative republican made sure
he could take care of himself and his buddies. |
