"Hillary is everywhere. Last night she's on Barbara Walters, this morning she's on Katie Couric, and tomorrow she goes on Diane Sawyer. This is the first time Hillary has been on more women than Bill." —Jay Leno
"In her book Hillary Clinton said she could have divorced her husband for all of his infidelities, but decided to get counseling instead. In a related story Bill Clinton announced the name of his new book is 'What Does It Take To Get This Woman To Leave Me?'" —Craig Kilborn
"Hillary said that one of the reasons she stayed with Bill so long is because no one can make her laugh like he does, especially when he says stuff like, 'I did not have sex with that woman.'" —Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton has written a book — it's a 600-page memoir — eight years in the White House. Six hundred pages, that's amazing. Not bad for a woman who, when she was there had no idea what was going on." —David Letterman
"Hillary's got this huge book, it's a memoir of her life and times at the White House. In the book she says when Bill told her he was having an affair, she said 'I could hardly breath, I was gulping for air.' No, I'm sorry, that's what Monica said." —David Letterman
"Hillary Clinton's book hits the stores this Monday. Oh boy, it took her a long time to write it. But in her defense, every time she tried to use the desk, Bill was always using it for a date." —Jay Leno
"The A&E network is making a movie about Senator Hillary Clinton and they want Sharon Stone to play Hillary Clinton. Which explains why President Clinton has volunteered to play himself." —Conan O'Brien
"The word is that Bill Clinton is so distraught over Hillary's new book that he's been drinking. Sweet Lord, we've seen the chicks he hits on when he's sober!" —Craig Kilborn
"Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs comes out next week. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you'll want to sleep with an intern." —Craig Kilborn
"In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,' Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts." —Jay Leno
"There is a cold front moving across the country. Yeah, it's Hillary starting her book tour." —Craig Kilborn
"The word is that when Bill read the book he wept when he finished it. The last chapter is titled 'The Castration.'" —Craig Kilborn |
