President John Kerry’s “Sensitive” War on Terror
Kerry: Mr Bin Laden, hello, it’s John here, John Kerry. How are you today?
OBL: Great John, man. Well done on the election. We are so glad you are the number one guy now. That man Bushy, he was alienating all of our allies. He just wasn’t considerate, you know what I’m saying?
Kerry: Oh, I certainly do, Mr Bin Laden. That was why I was calling. We’re about to drop some bombs on you and I just wanted to let you know. I thought it’s the least I could do for you after your appalling treatment over the last four years.
OBL: Johnny, that is so good of you. I’m overcome, really I am. It’s fine. Bomb away! Me and the missus are off to Kabul for our family Jihad. I’ve just bought a martyrdom timeshare over there. You’re welcome anyime.
Kerry: To be honest, Kabul wouldn’t be good for my skin. I have to keep applying the moisturiser to prevent the embalmed look. You know, it’s a pleasure to have a civilised, educated conversation with you finally.
OBL: I know what you mean man. Oh, Johnny, while you’re bombing us, would you mind asking the pilots to drop a couple of daisycutters on my back garden. The kids want a swimming pool and business hasn’t been good for the last few years thanks to Bushy. It needs to be Olympic size so can you drop the bombs in line – not one on top of another?
Kerry: Mr Bin Laden – Anything to promote a spirit of tolerance with our friends in Afghanistan.
OBL: Johnny – you’re the man! |
