Liberal Larry: Alright, Enough About the Lesbian Already!
Okay, so maybe mentioning Cheney's lesbian daughter in the last debate wasn't exactly a brilliant idea. But aren't we going just a wee bit overboard, folks? After all, when Bush remarked in the first debate that "John Edwards has a fat wife, but that's who she is...who she was born as", the democrats expressed nothing but gratitude for his thoughtfulness. If you ask me, this melodramatic right-wing overreaction to Kerry's comment betrays a certain degree of shame and embrassment on Cheney's part for his daughter's sexuality.
As a father of two girls, Kerry was merely trying to reach out to Mary Cheney and let her know that while her own dad might be a homophobic bigot, he himself was perfectly comfortable with her sexuality. Unlike the gay-bashing repugs, John Kerry understands the pain and suffering gays and lesbians experience on a daily basis, and his shoulder would always be there for Mary to cry on.
Of course, neither The Scowl or his hellbitch of a wife appreciated Kerry's compassionate gesture.
"I did have a chance to assess John Kerry once more," Lynne Cheney told a crowd of snarling harpies. "And the only thing I could conclude is this is not a good man. This is not a good man. And, of course, I am speaking as a mom and a pretty indignant mom. This is not a good man."
John Kerry, a decorated Vietnam war hero thrice wounded in combat, was deeply hurt by Cheney's remarks.
"I was simply trying to say something positive about their daughter," he explained. "I have many gay and lesbian friends, and it's important for us as a society to embrace and celebrate their diversity. Although I'm a devout Catholic, I'm very open-minded and don't feel threatened by two consenting adults expressing love for one another. In fact, Mary Cheney would be perfectly welcome to express love for another woman at my place any time she wants. I have a nice shag carpet. We could dim the lights a little...put on some music. Terayza might be a little stand-offish at first, but once we get some gin and raisins into her, she'll be as loose as a goose - if you know what I mean. Then once you two got acquainted, I could put the camera on a tripod and join in. It'd be a blast."
So you see, Kerry's harmless remark wasn't as sick and twisted as the reich-wing radio jocks are making it sound. His motives were purely innocent, and he in no way meant to offend Mary Cheney or her family. If she would simply lift the restraining order, he'd be more than happy to drop by with some scented lotions and body oils to make up for it.
.....
Come on, we all understand that mentioning Mary Cheney was a brilliant and clever debate tactic designed to scare off any homophobic Christian types (sorry, that's redundant) that were thinking of voting for Shrub. Now that they know there might be a real-live lesbian defiling the White House carpets, they won't DARE vote Republican! And we don't need to ask whether she wanted her name used in that manner... she's gay; of course she would want John Kerry to use her name and sexuality in any way he saw fit in order to throw Bush and her father out of Washington DC!
Posted by: CavalierX | October 16, 2004 05:52 PM
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