Of course no one said the 1 to 2 million was a CAKEWALK. Looking forward to the BIG DAY?...
TURNOUT DAY II: November 2, 2004-Democrat Style: Scene in a Van:
[The big Chevy van with personalized California plates that say “TORT MAN” cruises an inner-city sewer somewhere in Ohio. The volunteer driver, known only as “PLOW”, suddenly slams on the brakes-everybody tumbling forward-and screams]
No! NO! NOOOOO! It’s NOT RALPHS TERRY!! It’s JOHN KERRY, ya goddam moon crickets!! J-O-H-N K-E-R-R-Y!!!
[Takes a deep breath and composes himself]
Look guys. We got three precincts left. It’s JOHN KERRY. Can you get it RIGHT ? Even ONE TIME? Just so I can tell Bugsy and Terry you did it? Can you DO THAT MUCH?
[In the back of the van]
Yo! What dat white boy goin ON about?
Ah don’t knows. Alfonzo say Plow woke up dis morning an heard hiz sig-nif-I-cant udder listening to Rush in da john agin. Drive him krazy ever tahm.
Yeah? Well he drivin ME krazy. We bin to FOUR pee-sinks already, and I aint seen Ralphs Terry on de ballot onc’ed!
That ain’t Plows’s fault! Dat BUSH be disenfranchizin DA BRUDDAHS agin. Yo kin blame dat BUSH fo dat. We see Ralphs Terry on de ballot at de nex stop I guarantee it.
What yo NAME dis tahm?
Mah ballot say…Michael Jordan.
HAH! Yeah, right! You MI-KO all right. An I’s Jeffrey Dahmer.
Well check YO ballot.
It say Jeffrey Dahmer!!!
Count YO blessings mah bruddah. Alfonso go in to a pee-sink last trip, and da bruddah had to explain why his name was Mary Poppins. Shoulda see da look in HIS eyes. Dey ALMOST didn't let vote. Hymies got him in, though. Dey don't fool around, dem hymies!
Heh, heh, heh! Move it along now, PLOW. We goin make DA MAN, Ralphs Terry, da PREZ-DENT!!!… |
