So I don't know where people store hard things, or how they deal with them, but I think it's important to recognize that each of us has his own way of coping, and there is no right or wrong; the wrong is when we judge these reactions.
Right.
Unless we've led charmed lives, all of us have had difficult things happen to us. The passage of time somehow adds perspective.
I read the New Yorker article on the night I buried my son's dead fish. His only pet and his first brush with tragedy.
Serious trauma, lots of tears. Very emotional ceremony, complete with a cotton-lined matchbox casket, a tiny pillow for his head, a popsicle stick cross inscribed "RIP 2004", and valedictory words emotional enough to choke the most jaded.
Many, many tears.
Until I asked him if he wanted pizza for dinner as a special treat given the circumstances, at which point he smiled, grinned, and yipped with delight. It didn't take much to turn his attention to something else.
Well, he still talks reverently about the fish, and we visit him, though the popsicle stick cross is falling apart, and the visits are not quite so frequent.
We won't be visiting him in, oh, about a week or so.
I think the loss which would be unbearably difficult would be the loss of a healthy young child to an unforeseen accident. I'm not sure my psyche could repair itself.
I've seen that kind of loss--it destroys people and the most stable marriages. |
