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Politics : Political Humor- Left and Right!

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From: Raymond Duray	11/14/2004 6:40:08 AM
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Comparing the new candidates (i.e. the "southern provinces") for the banana belt of Canada vis a vis the new land of darkness called Dumbfukistan: Blue States: Home of good schools Red States: Homeskooled good Blue States: Want a big tent for their Party. Red States: Wears a big tent to her party. Blue States: Favor electric cars Red States: Favor electric chairs Blue States: Concerned about ballooning deficits' effect on capital markets turning gains into thin air Red States: Concerned about whether it's demons that make balloons float in thin air Blue States: Dream of making enough money to kite and swim with Czechs in Biarritz Red States: Dream of kiting enough checks to swim in Schlitz Blue States: Favor institutionalized health care for the poor Red States: Favor institutionalizing the poor Blue States: After the 9/11 attacks, put coffins in the ground Red States: After the 9/11 attacks, put magnetic flags on the car Blue States: Forget that God did not give Adam a Steve Red States: Forget that not only did God give Abraham three wives, He gave Solomon 300 concubines Blue States: Enormous cities that serve as the engines of human progress Red States: Enormous Hummers that serve as the engines for Arab oil Blue States: Provide the "tax" part of "tax and spend" Red States: Provide the "spend on a new 8-lane highway to link a Wal-Mart to the Olive Garden" part of "tax and spend" Blue States: Believe we're all brothers and sisters under the skin. Red States: Don't mind if we're brothers and sisters under the sheets. Blue States: Fighting to clean up skid row Red States: Fighting to clean up skid marks Blue States: Concerned about global warming Red States: Don't like to travel and are too fat to fit in an airline seat anyway, so glad to hear that the tropics are coming to Texas. Yee-haw! Blue States: Follow Jesus, but doesn't believe in Him Red States: Believe in Jesus, but doesn't follow Him Blue States: Want to repeal the Patriot Act Red States: Want to repeal the Emancipation Proclamation Blue States: Looking for a method to weaken China every day Red States: Sold everyday china for a weekend of meth Blue States: Favor drafting annoying laws on assault rifles Red States: Assault annoying in-laws with rifles after being drafted Blue States: Want the right for everyone to worship as they choose Red States: Want the right to choose everyone's worship Blue States: Champion women wrestling with the right to choose Red States: Choose women's wrestling championships Blue States: Want a rational energy policy Red States: Want policy of energetic irrationalism Blue States: Used benefits to assist victims on account of attacks Red States: Used attacks to benefit Toby Keith's bank account Blue States: Watched friends in New York die in foxy attacks on America Red States: Attack New York on Fox for not being friends of America Blue States: Believe God loves us and gave everyone free will to be different Red States: Believe God willed us to freely hate everyone different Blue States: Believe absence makes the heart grow fonder Red States: Believe abstinence saves the tart from plunder Blue States: Believe in Mr. Darwin's theory of "Evolution" Red States: Believe in Mr. Jesus' "Talking Snake" theory Blue States: Slave to pay inheritance taxes Red States: Inherited slaves Blue States: Buy art Red States: Collect Beanie Babies bettybowers.com

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