In the absence of a Thanksgiving joke, I suggest you go find a copy of Stan Freberg's "The United States of America" and listen to "Take an Indian to Lunch." It'll give you a whole new appreciation of Thanksgiving.
Prologue:
Narrator: Needless to say, the luncheon there under the trees was a great success, and a good time was had by Puritan and Indian alike. Everything came of beautifully with the exception of one minor catastrophe.
Mayor: What do you mean you cooked the turkey, Charlie?
Charlie: Well, I cooked the turkey, that's all.
Mayor: You put our national bird in the oven. Is that correct?
Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh . . .
Mayor: And all of us had our mouths set for roast eagle with all the trimmings.
Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh . . .
Mayor: You did a thing like that?
Charlie: Well, the two birds were lying there side by side.
Mayor: The *turkey* was for the centerpiece, Charlie, I mean . . .
Charlie: Well, they looked so much alike that I, uh . . .
Mayor: Well, we blew it now. They're all sitting down at the tables out there.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Mayor: . . . starting on their little nut cups already. Just have to switch the birds, that's all.
Charlie: Yeah, well . . .
Mayor: Serve them turkey instead of eagle. But it's kinda scrawny-lookin', isn't it?
Charlie: Yeah, well I thought I'd stuff some old bread in it and make it look a little fatter.
Mayor: You do that, OK?
Charlie: OK.
The song itself:
Take an Indian to lunch this week
Show him we're a regular bunch this week
Show him we're as liberal as can be
Let him know he's almost as good as we
Make a feathered friend feel fed this week
Overlook the fact he's red this week
Let him share our Quaker Oats
'Cause he's useful when he votes
Take an Indian to lunch
Two, four, six, eight, who do we tolerate
Indians, Indians, rah; rah; rah
Take an Indian to lunch this week
Let him sit right down and munch this week
Let's give in and all do the brotherhood bit
Just make sure we don't make a habit of it
Take an Indian to dine this week
Show him we don't draw the line this week
We know everyone can't be
As American as we
After all, we came over on the Mayflower
Take an Indian
Not a wooden Indian
But a real, live Indian
To lunch!
You have to picture this in the context of a '60s Broadway Revue, full orchestra and all... |
