You don't know about this. I do. You'll have to take my word for it, or not. In general, I think most men would be surprised at what women friends, close friends, and sisters, talk about.
And I know my own experience of an early miscarriage of a planned child. I was pregnant again in three months, to my joy.
I've often thought about what other children I might have had with my husband, what would they have been like -- I've wondered both about the miscarried planned pregnancy and, since I've learned about how routine they are, about the many dozens of other combinations of our DNA that were spontaneously aborted by nature. I feel very sad, in pain, when I allow myself to dwell on the fact that life didn't allow me to have more healthy children. That is my greatest regret by far.
And I am frankly extremely envious of a woman with two healthy children who has the time and emotional energy left over from surviving the blows and losses meted out by life to even human beings lucky enough to live in the first world to get sentimental and sad over an early miscarriage from many years ago. In fact, if I looked sad, and my husband asked me why, and I said it was because of that miscarriage, I figure he'd have a right to look at me as though I'd taken leave of my senses. But everyone is different, and has different crosses to bear, and bears them differently. |
