PNM-II! TINA!
Barnett
Dateline: above the garage in Portsmouth RI, 17 December 2004
Going back and forth with Putnam about the title of the second book, while back at the naval station they've officially kicked upstairs the decision about whether I can stay at the college and write PNM-II. So on the one hand I've got Neil Nyren at Putnam arguing the notion that PNM is becoming almost its own brand (sounds good, yes?) while the Department of Navy (actually, the Office of General Counsel) gets to decide whether or not it wants me on their label anymore (sounds bad, yes?).
Funny to feel so owned and disowned at the same time. I mean, how can the question of letting me write the second book be any different than the first one? If the success of PNM is the issue, then the real question for the college is whether or not it wants to own that success or distance itself from it. This is not a question the General Counsel will answer, no matter what the decision.
I'm not mad at the college, just sad that they don't know what to do with me. Then again, according to my own vernacular, when something can no longer be described using the usual terms, then clearly you're in the zone of a rule-set reset.
You know, I've always loved that phrase—rule set reset. It's sort of a social science version of rebooting your computer after installing so much new software that a new operating equilibrium needs to be established.
So that's apparently where I'm at right now, riding out the many horizontal scenarios emanating from the System Perturbation that was PNM's publication. Quelle surprise! Mark Warren and I both set out to make sure PNM had that sort of impact. We wanted to change the world! And so as much as I might want to pretend that I could set off this shock wave and not have it impact my personal path too much, I have been careless in gaining my wish.
Failures are so much easier. I actually enjoy abject failure because it's so liberating. Every time I've hit rock bottom, it's always caused to reinvent myself in some way that I later realize represented a far better scenario pathway. With success, however, there is simply the desire to pull back and say no.
But clearly, there in no alternative to writing the sequel. I just need to create the new rule set required to pull it off.
Being the optimist, I will have to hope that whatever that new rule set is, I will either part ways amicably or establish a different, more suitable relationship with the college. That's the expressed desire of my superiors as well, and I don't doubt them when they say that. |
