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Pastimes : Beauty and the Banned
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To: Kevin Rose who wrote (114)12/23/2004 3:00:23 PM
From: one_less  Read Replies (1) of 691
 
"My opinion is that it should be treated as any other case where there is a divorce, and one parent moves out of state. I don't know how judges handle these things; that is, do they normally give the child to the mother, or the one that stays?"

The argument raised by the bio-mom after her repudiation of lesbianism, is that the child has only one mom, not two. Granted the partner was in on it from the beginning and played a significant role for the first couple of years. However, if the supporting adult was a grandmother who stayed with the infant while the mom was off at work or cavorting socially, the court would not grant the grandmother custody once the mom settled into a more stable lifestyle. The mom is now married and living in a stable and supportive environment.

The girl is two years old. Two year olds form bonds and disentangle from old ones fairly easily ... unless it is an ongoing pattern of abandonments. I see no reason why she would suffer from abandonment issues unless the disparate views of the mothers and logistics over the geographical separation gets forced on her. What benefit is it to the girl to be trucked between states and forced to accommodate two very opposing lifestyles and cultures of people?

I do like your idea of the courts forcing divorced parents to remain local or give up their claims.

"...do they normally give the child to the mother, or the one that stays?"

I have custody of my seven year old daughter. During temporary orders the ex was given sole custody and denied me even the opportunity to see my daughter for a year. After four years of ugly court hearings the judge awarded me custody. The extent of evidence that had to be weighted on my side was huge. The system heavily favors moms. Ordinarily, I think that is a good thing but there are exceptions.
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