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Politics : President George W. Bush - Right or Wrong?
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To: SeachRE who wrote (374)1/21/2005 12:21:57 PM
From: Skywatcher  Read Replies (1) of 390
 
BIN LADEN BEMOANS LACK OF MEDIA COVERAGE FOR HIS SECOND INAUGURAL
Poor Choice of Date, Madman Concedes

What if they gave an inauguration and nobody came?

That's what international terror mastermind Osama bin Laden is asking himself after his second inauguration Thursday attracted media coverage that even his closest associates called spotty at best.

Mr. bin Laden had spent weeks planning the elaborate swearing-in ceremony, even making extensive renovations on his underground network of caves and tunnels in the remote mountainous region on the border of Afghanistan and Pakistan.

According to one associate, the terror chief spent much of the last week working late into the night on his speech, fretting about the tiniest details: "He really wanted to reach out to all the madmen around the world to lay out of his vision for the next four years of global jihad."

In particular, Mr. bin Laden was set to announce a pet program, "No Terrorist Left Behind," which calls for a drastic overhaul of terror training camps through an increased emphasis on standards and testing.

But at the end of the day, Mr. bin Laden's selection of January 20 as his inauguration date may have been his undoing, the associate now concedes: "I remember us sitting around saying, 'Isn't there something else going on that day?'"

In other news, the British aerospace company Airbus announced that it would manufacture a new generation of jumbo aircraft to cater to a new generation of obese passengers.

Elsewhere, after investigative journalist Seymour Hersh reported that the U.S. military was identifying targets within Iran, the White House confirmed that it was preparing to attack Seymour Hersh.
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