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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Gottfried	1/24/2005 10:36:02 AM
	Read Replies (1) of 6653

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I've always wanted to have someone to hold, Someone to love. After having met you. I've changed my mind. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When we were together, You always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - We have been friends for a very long time.. Lets say we stop? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm so miserable without you Its almost like you're here. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.

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