Best of the Web Today - February 8, 2005
By JAMES TARANTO
British Boo-Bird
Not everyone liked Anheuser-Busch's Super Bowl ad (viewable here and here) featuring U.S. servicemen getting a round of applause in an airport terminal. Humbug, says Stefano Hatfield, a columnist for London's left-wing Guardian:
It was described as "moving" and "powerful" by the obsequious Fox critics, and "obscene" by my furious upstairs neighbour who called me straight after because he regarded the spot as incitement to war with Iran, and knows I write about such things and so it was of course my fault.
Pass the sick bag, Alice. I was too stunned by the spot to really take in the full import of a beer company waving off "our boys" (and girls) to battle. But battle? Where? The war in Iraq's over, isn't it or so they keep telling us? With Rice's thinly veiled threats towards Iran everywhere, it is hard not to see the spot as anything other than hailing the troops off to war. Pure propaganda, and it picked up on one of the themes of the night: patriotism.
There's actually something mildly refreshing about a commentator openly scoffing at patriotism rather than feebly asserting that he isn't unpatriotic, as American left-wingers are wont to do. Then again, such defensiveness is better than spitting on veterans, which seven of our readers, responding to yesterday's item on the subject, said happened to them or to a loved one during the Vietnam era. Reader Jack Else, a retired U.S. Air Force major, reflects on how things have changed:
Soldiers were spit on. I was. It was September 1972 at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. I had just gotten off duty, was still in uniform, and was on campus to pick up my wife.
Flash forward nearly 20 years, to May 3, 1991. I had just returned from the first Gulf War (or as I called it the Great Unfinished Gulf War). For personal reasons I returned alone without my unit, which arrived about 10 days later. I arrived at Plattsburg Air Force Base, in upstate New York, and was put on a military bus for JFK and a civilian flight. I was tired and dirty, hadn't bathed for about three days, slept in my uniform; pack on my back, duffle bag and M-92. I did not look like a recruiting poster.
As I got off the bus at the American Airlines terminal at JFK I was very apprehensive. Why? We didn't have cell phones, we didn't have the Internet. We didn't have blogs. Mail was spotty. All we had were CNN, Peter Arnett, et al. I took a deep breath, entered the terminal and people stopped and stared--and then they applauded.
That Budweiser commercial took me back 14 years and made me cry.
It's still happening, says reader Greg Gilbert:
Last Thursday I was on a flight from Dallas-Fort Worth to Portland, Ore. There were four servicemen returning home for a two-week leave from Iraq. As the plane arrived at the gate in Portland, the pilot mentioned and thanked the servicemen for their service and asked that they be allowed to disembark first. As each of them walked toward the front of the plane, the rest of the passengers erupted in spontaneous applause. It's tough to do a standing ovation in an MD-80, but that's exactly what they got.
The feeling of appreciation of the passengers on the plane was palpable as they patted the servicemen on the back as they walked by and said "thank you." Best of all, it was real people expressing appreciation for the service of these men. A commercial could not have done the moment justice.
So on second thought, the Brits can have their Stefano Hatfields. We're happy to be living in a country where patriotism is applauded and no one admits to lacking it.
Homelessness Rediscovery Watch
"If George W. Bush becomes president, the armies of the homeless, hundreds of thousands strong, will once again be used to illustrate the opposition's arguments about welfare, the economy, and taxation."--Mark Helprin, Oct. 31, 2000
"Veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts are now showing up in the nation's homeless shelters."--Christian Science Monitor, Feb. 8, 2005
Fallujah Votes
The Christian Science Monitor reports a surprisingly high voter turnout in the erstwhile terrorist stronghold of Fallujah:
Nearly 8,000 people here defied insurgent threats and voted, according to US military officials. That figure accounts for 44 percent of all votes cast in Anbar Province, which includes the Sunni triangle, where antielection feeling was so strong that less than 7 percent voted at all.
Of course, the relatively high turnout in Fallujah belies the Monitor's claim that "antielection feeling" was strong; more likely, the problem was fear of violence by democracy's opponents.
The Road to Peace
Israel's Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Palestinian Authority chief Mahmoud Abbas announced a cease-fire in Sharm El-Sheik, Egypt, today, the Washington Post reports:
"We agreed that all Palestinians will stop all acts of violence against all Israelis everywhere, and, at the same time, Israel will cease all its military activity against all Palestinians anywhere," Sharon said at the end of a carefully-scripted summit in this Egyptian Red Sea resort town.
"What we agreed on today is only the beginning to bridging the differences between us," said Abbas. This of course raises questions: Is Abbas really interested in peace, or is this a tactical move like Oslo was for Yasser Arafat? (Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994.) And even if Abbas is serious about stopping the violence, does he have the ability to control terror groups like Hamas and Islamic Jihad?
Still, let's be hopeful that this really will amount to something. If it does, we will be able to say that the road to peace did go through Baghdad--and through Paris, at a hospital at which Arafat is in stable condition after dying.
Speaking of which, kudos to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who, unlike other world leaders who've visited the West Bank lately, "made no acknowledgement of Yasser Arafat's grave when she met the Palestinian Authority leadership in Ramallah on Monday," according to the Jerusalem Post.
Science Discovers Common Sense
We just love this story in the New York Times science section:
Predatory killers often do far more than commit murder. Some have lured their victims into homemade chambers for prolonged torture. Others have exotic tastes--for vivisection, sexual humiliation, burning. Many perform their grisly rituals as much for pleasure as for any other reason.
Among themselves, a few forensic scientists have taken to thinking of these people as not merely disturbed but evil.
We guess a forensic scientist is someone who is able, after years of painstaking research, to figure out things that are blindingly obvious to most nonscientists.
Great Moments in Higher Education
Hans Hoppe, an economist at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, is under fire for doing his job. In March, reports the Las Vegas Review-Journal, he was giving a lecture to a money and banking class on "groups who tend to plan for the future and groups who do not":
Another example he gave the class was that homosexuals tend to plan less for the future than heterosexuals.
Reasons for the phenomenon include the fact that homosexuals tend not to have children, he said. They also tend to live riskier lifestyles than heterosexuals, Hoppe said. . . .
Within days of the lecture, he was notified by school officials that a student had lodged an informal complaint. The student said Hoppe's comments offended him.
A series of formal hearings ensued.
Hoppe said that, at the request of university officials, he clarified in his next class that he was speaking in generalities only and did not mean to offend anyone. . . .
The student then filed a formal complaint, Hoppe said, alleging that Hoppe did not take the complaint seriously.
He said university officials first said they would issue him a letter of reprimand and dock him a week's pay.
That option was rejected by Hoppe's dean and by the university provost, Hoppe said.
More hearings ensued, he said. In the end, the university gave him until Friday to accept its latest offer of punishment: It would issue him a letter of reprimand and he would give up his next pay increase.
Hoppe's ideas seem reasonable and are clearly relevant to his scholarly discipline. Contrast his experience with all the university types defending the intellectually bankrupt anti-Americanism of a Ward Churchill, and it's clear that the idea of academic freedom has degraded into what one might call academentia.
A Real Free-Speech Supporter
In Rockland, Maine, "free speech clashed with free expression" over the weekend, reports the Bangor Daily News. Say what? Well, it seems that a group of "artists" are demonstrating against art they don't like:
Artists opposed to war protested the showing of combat paintings of Marine Sgt. Michael Fay at the Farnsworth Art Museum. Sgt. Fay stood ramrod straight when confronted by the small group of protesters upset with the Farnsworth for exhibiting his paintings of combat forces in Iraq and Afghanistan. The afternoon sun reflected off the combat ribbons pinned to his green uniform, and the red chevrons on his sleeves glinted in the finish of his spit-shined shoes as Fay listened to his challengers. . . .
The protesters objected to the show's content and what they claimed was the museum's "implicit support of war." They said a more balanced show would include images of civilian deaths and mass destruction. To represent one facet of military life in combat zones without placing it in the context of the true costs of war displayed a lack of sensitivity, they said.
"We are fighting an illegal and immoral war," Suzanne Hedrick, 73, of Nobleboro told Fay. "Without another viewpoint, without the faces of the victims and the ruining of the country, I'm deeply concerned." . . .
When asked his reaction to the protest, Fay said that he believed "most servicepeople would say, 'That's why we do what we do.' People have that right to express themselves in this country and I support that. Most are very pleasant, but some are mean-spirited and aggressive."
Of course, even jerks have the right to free speech--but the jerks, unlike Sgt. Fay, seem to forget that others do as well.
The Whine Spectator
"Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid on Monday urged President Bush to stop the Republican National Committee from calling him an obstructionist and criticizing his Senate record," the Associated Press reports from Washington. Harry, it's not going to work--unless maybe you wheel Max Cleland over to the White House to deliver your request.
Metaphor Alert
From a New York Times story on Timothy Roemer's candidacy for chairman of the Democratic National Committee: " 'Some in our party have tried to make that a radioactive anvil around my neck,' Mr. Roemer said of the abortion issue. "I've had everything, including a couple of kitchen sinks, thrown at me the last few weeks. But I'm not deterred."
Actually, Roemer was deterred--the article is about his dropping out of the race for DNC chairman. Actually, given his choice of metaphors, it sounds as though he's playing Wile E. Coyote to Howard Dean's Road Runner.
Other Than the Six Million Murdered Jews, the Resemblance Is Uncanny
"The Virginia Senate yesterday approved a constitutional amendment that defines traditional marriage as the union of a man and a woman. The Senate voted 30-10 to pass the amendment after an emotional 30-minute debate during which several Democrats likened the measure to the Holocaust."--Washington Times, Feb. 8
Homer Nods
Reader Howard Mortman points out that in a Friday item we misstated the U.S. government agency that runs Arabic-language Radio Sawa. It is the Broadcasting Board of Governors, not the State Department--though the secretary of state does serve on the board's board.
Then Again, They May Not
"Carolinas May Lose, Gain in Budget"--headline, Charlotte Observer, Feb. 8
What Would We Do Without Travel Gurus?
"Travel Guru Encourages 'Travel With Open Eyes' "--headline, Spectator (Seattle University), Feb. 3
What Would We Do Without Doctors?
"Doctors Prescribing Exercise to Fight Fat"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 7
Saved by the Belly
"Life expectancy in the United States is set to drop within the next 50 years due to obesity," Reuters reports. But the Associated Press reports from Laurel Hill, Fla., on one case that calls this prediction into question:
A few extra pounds may have saved James "Bubba" Taylor's life. The boy, who turns 9 on Tuesday, avoided serious injury after being struck by a .38-caliber bullet during a target-shooting accident, officials said.
"He's a little chunky," his grandmother, Alice Harper, told the Northwest Florida Daily News for its Tuesday editions. "Thank God."
Taylor was shot Saturday by a neighbor, James Hinshaw, 44, who was practicing marksmanship with the child. The bullet entered Taylor's right side, and traveled through his flesh without striking any organs.
Which gives us an idea for an easier alternative to losing weight: Just paint a big bull's eye on your vital organs and walk around with a sign that says "Shoot here."
That's an Odd Name for a Pig
"Van Brown Is Oldest Living Razorback"--headline, Texarkana (Texas) Gazette, Feb. 8
Didn't They See This Coming?
"Sina.com Hit by Ban on Fortune-Tellers"--headline, Financial Times, Feb. 8
L Is for Lawsuit--II
Our item yesterday on two teenage Colorado girls who lost a wrongful-cookie lawsuit led some readers to write asking how they can donate money to help the girls pay the judgment. The Associated Press reports there's no need:
Two teenage girls who got in trouble for surprising their neighbors with homemade cookies will not have to pay nearly $1,000 in medical bills for a woman who says she was so startled that she had to go to the hospital.
Radio station KOA-AM of Denver raised more than $1,900 from listeners Friday to pay the girls' $930.78 fine. The rest of the money will go to a charity dedicated to victims of the Columbine High School massacre.
We sort of wish the rest of the money had gone to the girls too, just to spite the nasty old plaintiff. Meanwhile, the Denver Post reports that Richard Ostergaard, the father of one of the girls, got a temporary restraining order against Herb Young, husband of plaintiff Wanita Young, "claiming he continues to make harassing telephone calls to the Ostergaard residence."
Body Politic
You've heard of "neocons" (new conservatives), "paleocons" (old conservatives) and "theocons" (religious conservatives). Now the Associated Press introduces "biocons":
Such work, called therapeutic cloning because it does not result in a baby, is opposed by abortion foes and other biological conservatives because researchers must destroy human embryos to harvest the cells.
There are actually all sorts of possibilities here. President Bush is a compassionate conservative, which would make him a "cardiocon," a conservative with a heart. P.J. O'Rourke, author of "Republican Party Reptile," would be a "herpetocon." Strom Thurmond was a paleontocon, though sometime in the past year and a half he became a neo-paleo-osteocon. We could go on, but we'll leave it to the typolocons.
New Yorkers: World's Biggest Wimps
"Cuba banned smoking in public places yesterday, an uphill struggle in a country that evokes images of cigar-chomping revolutionaries and where more than half of adults smoke," Reuters reports from Havana.
So a totalitarian dictatorship finds it an "uphill struggle" to control its citizens' behavior, but when New York City passed an antismoking law two years ago, people fell right into line. As a New Yorker, we hang our head in shame. |
