I got pulled over three nights in a row for "Weaving" and didn't have a drink. The third night, as I was getting out of my truck the deputy started screaming "GET BACK IN THE VEHICLE". I guess they teach you to scream at the academy because it's supposed to be intimidating, but all it did was piss me off REAL bad. I sat in the truck, squeezing the steering wheel, telling myself to calm down, when he walked up to my window and told me he stopped me for weaving.
Well, apparently they didn't teach him diddly-squat at the academy, cuz I gave him a REAL lesson on screaming! I said "DON"T GIVE ME THAT WEAVING CRAP! I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK, I WASN"T WEAVING, I WASN"T WEAVING LAST NIGHT WHEN I GOT STOPPED, AND I WASN'T WEAVING THE NIGHT BEFORE WHEN I GOT STOPPED! GIVE ME THE BREATH TEST, SEARCH THE VEHICLE, GIVE ME A TICKET, OR LOCK ME THE HELL UP, BUT DON"T TELL ME I WAS WEAVING! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, NAZI OCCUPIED FRANCE! STOP WHOEVER YOU WANT, CHECK THEIR PAPERS, IF THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING - LOCK 'EM UP ANYWAY! MAKE UP A CHARGE! WHAT THE HELL, THE JUDGE'LL CONVICT 'EM! He and his partner (A woman) walked to the back of my truck and I started looking for my lawyers cell phone number (I figured he could meet me at the jail). When he came back to my window he gave me back my licence and told me to go - no breath test or anything! |
