I think it's wise for married couples who both work to maintain semi-separate accounts unless they are very, very good at coordinating spending, so as to avoid nasty surprises when both write checks on the same funds at the same time.
But I advise that both accounts actually be jointly titled, both able to write checks, only have an iron-clad agreement that he writes checks on "his" account and she writes checks on "her" account. Otherwise, in the event of divorce, at least around here, the judges tend to say "what's his is his, and what's hers is hers."
Fine if you are the spouse with the larger income, not so fine if you made significant non-monetary contributions to the marriage.
I don't know what percentage of married couples split everything to the penny, but I think a disproportionate number of them must get divorced, because I don't know anybody like that personally, while at least half of my divorce clients did.
Parity isn't something you can divide to the penny. Sometimes one spouse gives more, sometimes the other, but in a good marriage fairness is something that happens over time. For example, having someone there for you when you are old and sick is a boon beyond price.
This is something that seems to have been forgotten by the "Me Generation." You won't be young and healthy forever. Sometimes you have to give in order to get.
I've been taking care of an elderly client who was divorced twice and is estranged from the rest of his family. I hope I am never in his shoes. Nobody but me and his neighbors are willing to sit with him in the hospital, nobody to listen to the doctors when they tell him he needs this and that test and follow up when he is sent home. Did doctors do a better job of coordinating in the past, or has it always been up to the family? I just don't know.
Anyway, he's still got a subscription to Playboy and the Playboy channel, at his age! And stacks of girlie mags and videos in his bedroom. My own parents got divorced shortly after my dad got a subscription to Playboy. My dad started calling my mother a "parasite" which was the language used in Playboy to describe non-working women, conveniently forgetting that she had worked him through college and dental school.
When people blame feminists for modern divorce rates, I wonder if they've ever considered the effect of Playboy and other porn on men and marriage. "Why marry the cow when you can get the milk for free?" was the slogan. |
