A worst-case scenario guide to SXSW crowd control
By Kathy Blackwell & Sarah Lindner
Thursday, March 17, 2005
We, friends, have been around the rock block. Our concert record is even more impressive when you consider that, separately and together, we are a magnet for potentially show-ruining disasters. Lesser fans would skulk home. We rock on. This South by Southwest, we offer our battle stories and survival strategies.
Scenario: There is another concert going on — and it's not on stage.
Background: Rather than being indifferent to the proceedings, some concertgoers are focused with creepy intensity and in fact become convinced that they are in a private jam session with the performer. Tragically, he or she is unmindful that his communion with the artist is in fact being overheard by the entire crowd.
Example: During Gillian Welch's show at Stubb's last spring, one fan sang and played air guitar (we were unaware that one could play acoustic air guitar, but apparently so) to every song. Every. Song.
How to handle: There is no hope that your communique from reality will reach the dimension this concertgoer occupies. Vigilantly scan the crowd and be prepared to move as soon as a safer spot opens up.
Scenario: The person next to you is dangerously confused.
Background: It's not that this concertgoer is behaving badly. His behavior is perfectly appropriate — for some entirely different sort of event than the show he is attending at the moment.
Example: The worst offender we've encountered was at a Junior Brown show at the Continental Club a few years ago. The errant concertgoer seemed to have mistaken Junior for Anthony Kiedis and spent the show pogoing as if the band had just broken into "Give It Away."
How to handle: We hate to disapprove of anyone enjoying a show, but your safety is at peril here. Get your drink as far away as you can from this lost soul, lest you spill and earn the misdirected wrath of others in the crowd. Your reflexes should be quick enough to dodge a stomp (and here we must stress the importance of solid footwear) or deflect a flailing elbow.
Scenario: Showcase scheduling brings incompatible fans to a show.
Background: Eclectic lineups at some venues during SXSW sometimes mean a fan who is "ready to rock" must endure three long, folky acts before her favorite band takes the stage. Rarely does she bear this gracefully.
Example: Chris Stamey's thoughtful SXSW performance at a packed Continental Club in 2003 didn't exactly reach the dozens of black leather clad Supersucker fans eagerly awaiting Mr. Spaghetti and company. And the expletives they hurled his way only made him stronger, which led to some in the crowd thinking, "Surely, no good can come of this." Luckily, the incident ended peacefully.
How to handle: This really all depends on a) the type of music being dissed and b) if the dissers are in the majority or minority. If someone is sullenly waiting out a Hold Steady show, for example, simply annoy him or her by rocking out, singing and just having a good time — the fusty fan will likely move. In a situation similar to the example above, however, it's best to get as close as to the stage as you can and send positive "I'm with you — you can do it" smiles to the poor singer.
Scenario: An invasion of your personal space.
Background: A concertgoer wants her space, man. She wants to dance, dance, dance. In her mind, she's Kevin Bacon in "Footloose," and you're the repressive small town holding her back. Never mind that you're just standing there quietly.
Example: A woman at a La Zona Rosa show by the Old 97's was able to clear her area of fans by dancing with elbows out and basically stepping on top of them. She wasn't happy until at least five of them — all of whom got there early to stake out their prime spots — gave up and moved far, far away.
How to handle: In between songs, smile, tell the Space Invader you're a big fan too and calmly ask her to not bump into you. If this doesn't seem appropriate, you can always position your drink so that when she bumps you, some of it spills on her (make sure to use the house liquor or the cheapest beer).
Scenario: A crisis in anger management.
Background: A concertgoer doesn't care if the crowd and the band are one — the show is not to her liking, and she has something to say!
Example: Granted, the Emo's Main stage and broody popsters the Red House Painters don't seem like an ideal match, but the packed house was into their 2001 SXSW set to close out that year's fest. They didn't mind that the show started 20 minutes or so late; they didn't mind that there were feedback issues. However, they did seem to mind when two rockin' girls elbowed their way toward the stage with cries of "Where's the rock? This is Emo's!" and similar. This continued for five minutes or so until an intense, glasses-wearing woman on the front row stopped her swaying and lunged for the loudest girl's throat! It was pretty exciting, actually. The mood buster talked her away out of the chokehold, and then oddly got some of the crowd on her side with her next set of chants: "Play 'Mistress!' Am I right, ladies?" Yes, she was.
How to Handle: Clearly, we do not endorse choking the mood buster. But, as the above example shows, sometimes the mood buster can turn things around.
Scenario: Someone near you will ... not ... shut ... up.
Background: A common menace at quieter, singer-songwriter shows is the concertgoer who pushes his way to the front even though he has no discernible interest in what is occurring on stage.
Example: During Kim Richey's 2001 SXSW set at the Austin Music Hall, such a concertgoer invaded the inner sanctum of superfans and proceeded to loudly regale his cohorts with tales of, oh, just about anything, blithely ignoring that everyone around him was totally quiet — and very, very angry at him.
How to handle: The brave fan will confront the talker. Establish your dominance and he will often back down without resistance. A warning, though: The fan who scolded the Kim Richey interloper so impressed him with her moxie that he was quite smitten. Proceed carefully. |
