CONDI RANKS PAKISTAN’S DEMOCRACY HIGHER THAN FLORIDA, OHIO
Musharraf Basks in Secretary of State’s Praise
"In her first visit to Pakistan since becoming Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice praised President Gen. Pervez Musharraf for leading his nation on the road to democracy, saying that Pakistan is now more democratic than either Florida or Ohio.
“Pakistan is still very much a work in progress on its way to becoming a democracy,” said Dr. Rice, standing beside a beaming President Musharraf. “Having said that, it is still a whale of a lot more democratic than Ohio, and it leaves Florida in the dust.”
Musharraf graciously accepted the Secretary of State’s praise, adding, “We know that we have to walk before we can run, and in our case, being more democratic than Florida or Ohio is an important first step.”
According to Dr. Jonah Lebeau of the University of Minnesota’s Democracy Institute, Pakistan’s democracy surpassed that of several counties in Florida, such as Miami-Dade, as early as 2002.
But, Dr. Lebeau says, Dr. Rice’s comments point at a new problem looming on the horizon for the U.S.: “We have been so busy exporting democracy lately that we may actually need to import some soon.”
Shortages of democracy in such states as Florida and Ohio, he says, may force the U.S. to look abroad for foreign sources of democracy, such as Switzerland or Belgium.
In other news, a bouquet of flowers presented to Dr. Rice in Afghanistan turned out to be heroin-producing poppies.
Elsewhere, an attorney for Saddam Hussein said that the former Iraqi dictator wanted to be tried by a jury of Robert Blake’s peers."
borowitzreport.com |
