DB and BD:
A couple of points just for emphasis, concerning divorce.
Marriage may be seen by some as a sort of contract, but that's not what it is. It is an exchange of promises (love honor--obey has been lifted), but they are, in legal terms, illusory promises. When you enter into a contract (you agree to deliver me your used Dodge tomorrow at noon, and I promise to arrive with $1200 cash), it is a balance of promise + performance against promise plus performance. It works. There is nothing enforceable about the vows (translate: sincere hopes) exchanged in a wedding ceremony.
She promises to love and honor him, but nags him incessantly and tells her friends his best trait is taking out the trash. He promises to love and honor her but is already tired after a year or so of seeing her in the morning without makeup. Could a court step in and order "specific performance" on either of the parties? In a breach of contract suit, how would you determine damages ("He makes me feel so bad. You know I could have married Ira Greenberg, he's a succesful oral surgeon!"--or "You should see her down the cocktails and flirt at my office summer picnic, it's keeping me from getting promoted.")
"What good are vows if the judicial system won't honor them?"
Courts never honor (actually "enforce" is the word here) vows.
The best you can hope for with your kids is that 1) they get past the "juvenile" period before making one of these big vows and 2) the person they exchange vows with has similarly gone beyond the juvenile period. As time marches on and our world changes, this becomes a lower and lower probability play for first marriages.
Kb |
