Nightly Business Report:
JEFF YASTINE: In tonight's report, Linda O'Bryon interviews J.C. Boatwright, revered market veteran and analyst. Mr. Boatwright has agreed to share previously undisclosed methods used for his stock-picking success.
O'BRYAN: Mr. Boatwright, you've been an analyst for how long?
BOATWRIGHT: 22 years. Could I just say that you have a very lovely blouse. I can't seem to take my eyes off of it.
O'BRYAN: Thank you. Now, how would you classify your investment style, and has it changed over the years?
BOATWRIGHT: The material is very sheer. I can almost see right through it.
O'BRYAN: Mr. Boatwright! Please, we only have 5 minutes.
BOATWRIGHT: Very well... My style has not changed throughout my trading career. I have only used one method, and I have refined it to an art.
O'BRYAN: And what is your method?
BOATWRIGHT: I read turds.
O'BRYAN: You read turds?
BOATWRIGHT: Yes, and I don't think it's funny. Nobody makes fun of people who read charts, but if you read turds you're some kind of freak! The Chinese have been successfully reading tea leaves to predict future events for centuries. I have found tea leaves to be out-of-touch with the American economy. Hence, I read turds.
O'BRYAN: So you actually.... look at feces to divine market movements.
BOATWRIGHT: Yes. I stare in the toilet, and am able to see patterns in the floating turds.
O'BRYAN: And this has been successful for you?
BOATWRIGHT: I have averaged 225% annually for the past 14 years, with only one large drawdown.
O'BRYAN: That's incredible! Do you care to elaborate on the drawdown?
BOATWRIGHT: Well, I almost wiped out. That was the summer that the doctor had me on a high-bran diet. I just couldn't make out any patterns at all. And then there was that time I ate a whole jar of jalepenos. Talk about clouding the crystal ball!
O'BRYAN: It appears that we are out of time. Do you have any closing comments?
BOATWRIGHT: Yes. Corn is bullish.
O'BRYAN: Thank you for joining us, Mr Boatwright.
BOATWRIGHT: You're welcome, and call me Chris. Your skin looks very soft. May I touch it?
Nightly Business Report transcripts are available on-line post-broadcast. The program is transcribed byFDCH. Updates maybe posted at a later date.
The views of our guests and commentators are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Community Television Foundation of South Florida, Inc. Nightly Business Report, or WPBT. Information presented on Nightly Business Report is not and should not be considered as investment advice.
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