THE RUDER ONE: George Bush and the Squirrel Monkey Press Conference:
Let us say, and why not, that at last night's press "conference," President George W. Bush finished his more obviously prepared remarks by pulling a cute little squirrel monkey out of his jacket and said, "Now, ya'll see this female squirrel monkey, finest squirrel monkey ass in the rainforest. Now ya'll watch me as I fuck the shit out of this squirrel monkey while ya'll ask me questions." And then the Leader of the Free World began to, as he said, fuck the shit of the squirrel monkey, fucking it in its little squirrel monkey vagina, the horrible screams of the squirrel monkey echoing throughout the East Room of the White House.
So then let us say, and, indeed, why not, that reporter after reporter got up and asked questions, like "I wonder what you think, generally, about the role that faith is playing, how it's being used in our political debates right now," and instead of answering, Bush said, "Now, watch, I'm gonna turn this lil' monkey over and fuck her in her cute ol' asshole," followed of course by more fucking and more monkey screams, a little weaker now.
Oh, sure, the reporters would keep trying to ask questions to get real answers because, you know, they have to pretend that way. But the President of the United States had an agenda: to fuck that squirrel monkey in front of the media and the nation. When a reporter asked, say, "Can you explain for us how, if it were passed soon after it were introduced, the energy bill would have an effect on the current record price of oil that we're seeing out there," that reporter would not receive a direct answer. Instead, Bush would respond, "Can't you see I'm fuckin' a squirrel monkey here, and now that it's stopped screamin' so loud, I think it's startin' to like it."
Yes, yes, the saddest part of the press conference would be when everyone realized the poor, cute squirrel monkey was dead, but there was no way that George Bush was going to stop fucking the monkey's limp corpse, yelling, "You know you like that you, lil' monkey bitch, you know you like my Presidential seal." The squirrel monkey, of course, wouldn't respond, except with the cracking of a bone or two. A reporter could ask a truly important question, one that gets to the very nature of the national identity, like "Mr. President, under the law, how would you justify the practice of renditioning, where U.S. agents who bust terror suspects abroad, taking them to a third country for interrogation? And would you stand for it if foreign agents did that to an American here?" but George Bush would brush that aside, constantly thrusting his cock into the distressingly broken corpse of the monkey. Although, truth be told, there's only so long one can watch a man fuck a dead monkey before it gets tiresomely repetitive.
Finally, George Bush would come, wipe his half-erect dick with the ragdoll monkey, and toss it in the garbage. He'd thank the gathered reporters for watching him fuck a squirrel monkey to death and then exit with that old cowpoke with the DTs walk he's got.
Everyone there would know that they just participated in an absolutely useless ritual, an exhibitionistic game, and they'll all be back next time to play their parts.
// posted by Rude One @ 11:44 AM
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